Honest, Simple, Solid, True

Some weeks it seems like the topics and the words just come.  And then there is this week where I tried to think of something to write and nothing seemed to come to my mind.  So this will probably be a pretty short entry without much of interest.

Today I had the opportunity to teach Elder's Quorum.  The lesson was on priesthood in the home and the family.  It was a good opportunity to read the most recent conference talks by Elder Ballard and Elder Scott.  I had my lesson all planned out until I stood up in front of the quorum and most of what I had planned went out the window.  I suddenly realized that there I was, a single adult trying to teach a room full of men with wives and families about exercising the priesthood in the home and using it to create eternal families.  Somehow my lesson started going places I wasn't expecting it to go:  some successful, others not so much.

One of my unexpected detours caught me by surprise.  We were talking about how we could gain more power in the priesthood and I found myself admitting to these brethren--most of whom I don't know--that I envied them because a family brought opportunities to grow and mature in the priesthood that simply don't come to a single man.  I told them that I felt that a family was the best place to train a man in the priesthood because it brought responsibilities and opportunities to put the priesthood to work in their life.  When these words came out of my mouth, everyone in the room seemed surprised, but none more than me.  I'm not the best person in the world about being open and honest about my feelings in public.  I will share my thoughts with anyone who asks--and many that don't ask--but I keep my feelings very guarded and close to the vest.  So to do this in a room full of strangers was bizarre to say the least.  

I've realized that we all have our own kind of masks we wear.  If you are like me, you smile and say "I'm fine" a lot of times when inside you are frowning and saying "I'm struggling" or "I'm lonely" or "I could use a friend today."  We try to act brave because we don't want to inconvenience anyone.  But more than that, we try to act brave because we are afraid that being who we really are, being "honest, simple, solid, true", as my friend and mentor Terry Warner would say.  We are afraid to trust others with our vulnerability and our weakness, despite the fact that those closest to us already see that vulnerability and love us all the more.

Despite what the world suggests, there is nothing wrong with weakness.  Indeed, as we come to the Savior, He opens our eyes and shows us our weakness in full honesty.  He doesn't to this to make us feel bad about ourselves or to make us realize that He is better.  He does this because such honesty is the path to true humility and to true healing.  "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27).  Moses was in a better position to withstand the adversary after coming to the realization that "man is nothing" (Moses 1:10), a realization that was coupled with a greater understanding of his identity as "a son of God . . . in the similitude of his Only Begotten" (Moses 1:13).  In our honesty, we leave behind our need to have all the answers and recognize the truth that God and others love us in our weakness and can help us to rise above our challenges if we are willing and humble.

I'm not exactly sure what happened in Elder's Quorum today or why I said what I said, but I left feeling freed by my honesty.

Brett