Expecting Miracles and Receiving Them

It has been several years since I took my first college exams during the Summer Term of 1999.  Friday, I took and passed my last.  When I woke up yesterday morning and realized that I had no tests to study for, no classes to read for, "just" a dissertation--I'll start stressing about that in a few days--to write, it was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life.  I still don't know quite what to do with myself, but I'm trying to enjoy a few moments of relaxation before making a significant push onto my dissertation.

Frans Franken II, The Israelites After Crossing the Red Sea

Beyond the bizarre feeling of being "finished" with a major portion of my collegiate experience, this week had a number of other unique experiences that will make these exams stand out as an important experience in my life.  For a week and a half before my exams, both of my roommates were coughing and it was obvious that one of them was really quite sick.  I did my best to limit my contact and remain in my own room where perhaps I could delay getting the same illness.  But having not been sick yet this Fall, I knew it was coming and I just hoped that it would hold off until after my exams were finished.  To make matters worse, the stress from my exams had really thrown off my sleep schedule.  In the weeks leading up to the exams, I often got little more than 4-5 hours of sleep per night as my mind simply wouldn't shut down at night.  So I knew that when the illness hit me, it was going to hit me hard.

Mercifully, the illness held off through Friday of last week, allowing me to finish the first two written portions of the exam without any trouble.  But by the end of my test that Friday in a small room that for some unknown reason had its air conditioner working overtime, I knew that I was sick and it was going to be rocky.  As seems to be the pattern for me these days, my sickness caused my asthma to flare up and created a miserable week for me.  I went to the doctor on Monday and got some medicine and some help, but I knew that I was going to need a miracle for my final written exam on Wednesday and then again for my oral exam on Friday.

Wednesday morning, when I took my written exam on the United States prior to 1877, I felt good for most of the day and I saw the hand of the Lord.  Never in all my academic career have I come even remotely close to what I accomplished Wednesday.  I am generally a slow writer.  4-5 pages is a very, very good day of writing for me.  But these answers required substantially more thought and effort.  Between 8 and 3:30 when I finished, I managed to write 28 pages in answering the three questions (a ten page answer for the first question, and then two nine page answers for the second and third questions).  And it wasn't just the general output of page production.  I knew when I walked out of that exam that I had passed each one of those questions and that I had written thoughtful and good responses to each question (not a characteristic feeling for me on my exams).  I knew that I had received the miracle and blessings that I had asked for.

That afternoon when I got home, my asthma and cold became worse than they had been all week.  When I went in for a doctor's appointment the next day, things actually happened to be critical.  During my life I have had two asthma attacks that were bad enough to warrant a breathing treatment.  That Thursday, the doctor gave me two breathing treatments there at the clinic and then gave me strict instructions about the circumstances that would necessitate me going to the hospital or calling 911.  Listening to her talk, it hit me that things had been even more severe than I had realized.  At the same time, it hit me that the miracles I had experienced were even greater than I had realized, compensating for the severity of the circumstances.

On Friday, having recovered somewhat from the attack, I was able to pass my oral examination, leading to some kind praise and encouragement from my professors, each of whom were surprised at my performance given the circumstances.  Nobody was more surprised than myself.  I consider myself a fairly able student, but this experience gave me a profound opportunity to witness the hand of the Lord in the midst of difficult circumstances.  I had needed a miracle and it had come.

Perhaps even more importantly, I had expected the miracle that came.  Never in all of this experience did I find myself doubting that the Lord would bless me.  I don't know why it was so easy for me to believe in these circumstances for there have surely been other circumstances where faith and hope seemed all but impossible for me to muster.  But this was a time for me in which I knew that my Red Sea would part and a way would be opened to the other side leading to new challenges and new tests of faith in the future.

I'm grateful to everyone who has prayed for me and encouraged me during this process.  Surely it was your faith and prayers that enabled me to believe and to receive the Lord's blessings at this time!

Brett