I Would That Ye Should Believe

It's been an interesting week.  I went to the Mormon History Association's annual conference and heard a number of fine presentations, and more importantly spent time with a number of friends and reconnected with people that I hadn't seen for a long time.  I'm not sure I ever really walk away from these conferences filled with new ideas, but I love being able to spend time with my friends.  One of the fun things this year was that I felt like I was surrounded by colleagues and friends rather than advisers.  I guess that is a sign that I need to finally finish my dissertation and join the ranks of the Ph.D.'s.

This week I've been continuing with my study of Alma 32.  It is an old familiar chapter that we all know well, but some thing stood out in it that I needed to hear, but which I have never seen before.  The first thing that stood out was Alma 32:22.  "And now, behold, I say unto you, and I would that ye should remember, that God is merciful unto all who believe on his name; therefore he deserted, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea, even on his name."  After I quit caring about the comma splice after the word remember that was driving me crazy (note that punctuation was added by the printer afterwards and was not a part of the translation), I was struck by the message of belief.

Sometimes all that God wants is for us to be willing to believe, as difficult as that can at times be.  There will be moments when the very best that we can manage is to "exercise a particle of faith" and, at times, our best will be "no more than [to] desire to believe" (Alma 32:27).  I love the words "exercise," "particle," and "desire."  First, "exercise."  Faith is and always has been a principle of action.  It requires exercise, thought, and effort.  We put ourselves out there in the belief that we are trying to follow God's will and that He will bless us for our efforts, no matter how feeble those efforts may be.  Second, "particle."  A particle is something that is small, often not even visible to the natural eye.  It can make a mustard seed look gigantic by comparison.  And yet God does not scold us if all the faith that we can muster is the size of a particle.  Rather, he will work with that particle until it grows and strengthens.  Third, "desire."  Sometimes what we possess could not even be described as a particle of faith.  Sometimes the best that we can manage is a desire that what we have heard is true; that somehow, somewhere, some way, God will fulfill His promises to us.  And even in this God does not scold our lack of faith, but gently says to us, "Begin where you are.  Give the best that you can manage, for I can work with righteous desires."  And so He goes to work transforming our imperfect desires into particles of faith, into seeds of faith, and finally into trees of life bearing forth fruit, with each piece of fruit filled with its own seeds to then be cultivated.

 The second item that hit me in this chapter was Alma 32:28.  "Now, we will compare the word unto a seed.  Now, if ye give place, that a seed may be planted in your heart, behold, if it be a true seed, or a good seed, if ye do not cast it out by your unbelief, that ye will resist the Spirit of the Lord, behold, it will begin to swell within your breasts; and when you feel these swelling motions, ye will begin to say within yourselves--It must needs be that this is a good seed, or that the word is good, for it beignets to enlarge my soul; yea, it beignets to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beignets to be delicious to me."  Now Alma, of course, is talking of the seed of faith here.  But it struck me that we have all kinds of seeds that we can and do plant in our hearts, and in this regard, we are the gardeners.    We can plant seeds of faith, but we can also plant seeds of doubt.  We can plant seeds of love and mercy, or we can plant seeds of hatred and bitterness.  And whatever seeds we plant and nourish will grow within our hearts and minds; while whatever shoots we pluck out or fail to nourish will wither and die.  I began to ask myself, what seeds am I cultivating within my heart?  Do I boast a garden filled with faith, hope, charity, and love?  Or is mine a garden filled with unbelief, doubt, bitterness, and anger?  Like every garden, the garden of our hearts will not simply remain empty.  Something will grow there.  Some seeds will germinate and take root.  Therefore it becomes us to fill our hearts with seeds that will bring forth good fruit, while at the same time uprooting every shoot of evil that springs up.

Wherever we are along the pathway of faith, may we desire good desires, learn to believe, and exercise faith in Heaven and Heaven's holiest promises.  And may we learn to cultivate hearts filled with the cardinal characteristics of the Celestial soul: faith, hope, charity, and love.

Brett