"When I Survey the Wondrous Cross"

With the help and kindness of family and friends, this week I slowly but surely reentered the land of the living, having missed out on only one seminar.  It always amazes me how much the little things that you take for granted--like being able to sleep through the night, or even just having an appetite--seem to mean when you are sick and those things are no longer working right.  So it has been nice to get back to feeling better.  I'm particularly glad that I am feeling on top of things before my Sister Stephanie visits this week while she is presenting at a conference at TCU.  I'm looking forward to being able to see her for a few days, as it will be the first time I've seen family since mid-August.

Isaac Watts, English hymn composer

Today I taught the Gospel Essentials lesson on the principle of sacrifice.  This morning as I was making a few last minute preparations, I was reminded of one of my favorite hymns (unfortunately not in our hymnbook or our regular canon of inspirational hymns).  The hymn is "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross," written by Isaac Watts in 1707 in England.  Watts wrote the hymn and several others, including "Joy to the World," "Sweet is the Work," and "He Died! The Great Redeemer Died," that have been popular throughout the Christian world and have been sung reverentially in our own worship services.  While I love each of these hymns, the words of "When I Survey the Wondrous Cross" have a special place in my heart.

When I survey the wondrous cross,

On which the Prince of glory died,

My richest gain I count but loss,

And pour contempt on all my pride.

Forbid it, Lord! that I should boast,

Save in the death of Christ, my God:

All the vain things that charm me most,

I sacrifice them to His blood...

Were the whole realm of nature mine,

That were a present far too small;

Love so amazing, so divine,

Demands my soul, my life, my all.

For me the words of this hymn evoke the spirit of true discipleship and the essence of the sacrifices that we are asked to make in this Church.  They remind me of the words of Amaleki, who urged us to "come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation, and the power of his redemption.  Yea, come unto him, and offer your whole souls as an offering unto him, and continue in fasting and prayer, and endure to the end; and as the Lord liveth ye will be saved" (Omni 1:26).  The call of the gospel is an for us to exchange our all for the Lord's all.  It is true that He asks us to consecrate our all to His kingdom, but He asks this only after have consecrated His all to us.  Indeed, I am confident that at the end of eternity, when we look back on the sacrifices we were called to make for the Lord's kingdom, we will find that the exchange rate was far more than generous in our behalf.

The words of this hymn also do something else for me.  They remind me how far short I often fall of the demands of true Christian discipleship and faith.  Like Ananias and Sapphira, I have frequently "kept back a part" (Acts 5:2) of that which rightly belonged to the Lord, and in the process have lost opportunities to grow.  Considering the sacrifice of the Savior, I realize how very little I have given, and in some cases, how very much I have held back from Him and how much I must repent.

At the end of the day, I am inspired by the fact that more than our possessions, treasures, or money, God desires our hearts.  Those other things simply don't mean very much in the eternal scheme of things.  From time to time, He asks us to give of them to His Kingdom, but He does so to loosen the hold that they have upon our hearts.  When such things finally become temporary trifles in our eyes, we are then prepared to give Him the thing that He truly desires: our hearts and our devotion.  And having given those things to Him, He can mold us into men and women who are truly prepared to receive "all that [our] Father hath" (D&C 84:39).

Brett

"My Angel Mother"

I'm writing my post a little bit early today.  Monday night I came down with a cold and I have been fighting it ever since.  So I opted to stay home from Church today in hopes of getting some needed rest and avoiding passing my germs along to other unsuspecting victims.  Being sick in graduate school is an interesting challenge.  If it is really bad your professors will let you miss a seminar, but it had better be ebola bad and it had only better be one seminar session that you miss.  So it can make for some fun times.

In the middle of feeling miserable and being wide awake for three nights in a row this week, I couldn't help but think about my Mom, whose arthritis has disrupted more than a few nights of sleep during my lifetime.  While I was irritable and hard to get along with after only three such nights, my Mom never seems to let the sleep deprivation get to her, or at least she doesn't let it show.  Every morning, she is awake and ready to go about the day with a smile on her face, regardless of the fact that she only slept for an hour or two during the night.  She's an inspiration.

My Mom and Me, BYU Graduation, April 2011

There's another reason I have been thinking about her though: tomorrow (October 22) is her birthday and I wanted to pay her a small tribute since I will not be able to be there to celebrate with her in person.

I didn't always make things easy on my Mom when I was growing up.  When I was three or so, my Mom took Rob, Lynley, and me with her to the store.  When it came time to leave and go home, I didn't want to go for one reason or another and as Mom tried to get me out of the store I screamed out for all to hear, "She's not my mother!", a response that no doubt turned many heads and humiliated my Mom.  As if that statement didn't do enough to cast aspersions onto her, my constant injuries as a child (downing a bottle of Tylenol with codeine, and various other bumps and bruises that led to frequent hospital visits) certainly caused a nurse or two to question her undeservingly.

But in spite of all of that, she somehow managed to get the important messages through to me.  I will never forget a moment that happened when I was three or four.  Dad was at the bedside of my Grandpa Dowdle late, helping him through the painful last months of terminal cancer.  I had a nightmare and could hear Mom down in the living room waiting for Dad to come home, so I took my blanket and went down to the living room to tell her that I had had a scary dream and couldn't sleep.  She reassured me that everything was ok and then said a little prayer with me and simply taught me that prayers would help me to sleep whenever I had a nightmare.  I was then able to go back to bed and sleep comfortably.

Variations of that same theme have played out over and over and over again throughout my life.  Whenever I have been concerned or scared or upset, Mom has been there with the right words and the reassurance that if I would put my trust in the Lord, things would work out.  After nearly thirty years of such lessons and counsel, I can say without hesitation that she has never been wrong.  My worst fears have never actually materialized and her faith in God's plans has always been vindicated.  Right along side her has been my Dad, whose faith, counsel, and example of righteousness have likewise blessed my life forever.

Lincoln once said of his mother that he inherited his qualities from her and then concluded, "All that I am or hope ever to be I get from my mother, God bless her" (Recollected Words of Abraham Lincoln, 240).  I can't help but feel the same.  While I may have screamed out, "She's not my mother!" when I was three years old, today and for the rest of eternity I shall be proud to say with conviction, "She's my mother!  Isn't she wonderful!"

Happy birthday Mom! I love you!

Brett

"Afflicted Precisely As We Are Now"

Brigham Young, ca. 1850

I'm constantly amazed by the things that I discover in the process of looking for something else.  Throughout my life, some of the best scriptures and quotations I have found were discovered while I was searching for some other scripture or quotation that I needed.  While some may attribute such discoveries to chance and dumb luck, I tend to believe that they are among the most "tender mercies of the Lord" (1 Nephi 1:20) that were so beautifully described by Elder David A. Bednar during the April 2005 General Conference.  These unexpected discoveries remind us just how much more the Lord truly knows about His plans for us than we know, and they serve as means whereby He often leads us to discover those paths He has for us.

I had just such a discovery yesterday as I was doing my scripture study.  I was searching for a quotation by Brigham Young about our personal relationship with the Father during the premortal life.  In the process of searching for that quotation, I came across another sermon of Brigham's with which I had not been previously acquainted (You would be shocked by how much Brigham spoke).  This sermon, given on May 4, 1856, included the following comments:

"Well now the Lord has compassion upon us upon the same principle that we have one towards another, precisely the same, for he has experienced those things Himself.  This is an item that the people can scarcely realize, that our Father and our God, him whom we serve, the Great Elohim, that he has once been afflicted precisely as we are now.  This is really strange.  We could hardly admit that this is the fact, and still it is good, sound. . . . There is not a person upon the earth or in the heavens, or anywhere else that could ever feel or sympathize for you or for me unless that person had suffered as you and I are suffering. . . . [T]here is not and never was a son but there must have been a father, and if a father he must also be a son, and. . . there never has been a father capacitated to beget sons without he having first passed through this ordeal himself. . . . Well now that father that we talk about and Jesus his son have once been precisely as we are: tempted, tried, buffeted and filled with weakness, with pain and sorrow and suffering just as we are.  I don't know that he has ever had the toothache or the headache as I have had them, but he was obliged to know sorrow, pain and the infirmities of mortality as well as us.  And why?  Because he would never know how to enjoy; he could not have the capacity to realize the value of ease, of comfort, of plenty unless He had suffered disease and sorrow, and it never could be known in all the eternities.  He never could have occupied his present station without these gratifications, it never was acknowledged upon any other principle."  (Brigham Young, Complete Discourses of Brigham Young, 2:1101).

Perhaps I am not alone in this fact, but I rejoice in the idea that not only does my Savior understand my pains and struggles, but so does my Father in Heaven.  I like the idea that He knows what it is like to have a migraine or to have joints that are hurt from time to time.  I like the idea that He knows what it is like to feel like there is more work to be done than there is time to do it.  I like the fact that He knows what it is to struggle and perhaps even fail from time to time.  For me one of the best aspects of family history research is to learn about the challenges my ancestors experienced and the ways that they responded to those challenges.  Somehow the thoughts of their struggles binds my heart to them and I experience a shared sense of mortality with them.  So it is with my Father and His Divine Son, our Savior Jesus Christ.  By knowing that They understand our challenges and the depths of our struggles, we come to feel a closeness to Them that would not otherwise be possible.

Brigham drew upon these insights and asked, "Well what does this bring us to, the few that are here this morning?"  He then answered, "It brings us to this one thing, that this experience is necessary for us in order to bring us to perfection" (Brigham Young, Complete Discourses, 2:1101).  That mere fact, the fact that our struggles are not wasted, that they serve a purpose and are for something, gives us the strength to "press forward with a steadfastness in Christ" (2 Nephi 31:20).

Brigham further counseled, "Then do not you nor I complain of hard times nor anything that we are called to pass through, for it is right.  No person would know the nature of poverty unless they had once been in comfortable circumstances; no person would know and realize the pleasure of ease in their bodies and the benefit of lying down and resting unless they had sometimes been in pain and had experienced sleepless nights and been anxious to rest, no person in any kingdom understands anything but by the contrast.  No person could know of the blessings of life, of light, of knowledge, of happiness in every particular degree unless they had tasted the opposite in its degree. . . . I tell you it is necessary for this people to experience every trial that they can possibly pass through" (Brigham Young, Complete Discourses, 2:1101).

I am grateful to know that we have a God who "mourns with those that mourn, and comforts those who stand in need of comfort" (Mosiah 18:8-9).  I am grateful to know that we have a God who hears our every prayer and numbers the tears of His children.  I am grateful to know that we have a God who in time will "wipe all tears from [our] eyes" and usher in an eternity in which "there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain" (Revelation 21:4).  But I am equally grateful to know we have a God who lets us learn everything that we must learn, even if we must at times learn "by sad experience" (D&C 121:39), for it is often in those very sad experiences that we are tutored most profoundly in the lessons and principles of godliness.

Brett

I Love General Conference

Few things are as exhilarating for me as General Conference weekend.  Of course the insinuation that two days worth of discourses is exhilarating to me may mean that I lead a very boring life.  (Probably true)  But the opportunity to sit and listen to the voices of Prophets and Apostles, men who hold the keys anciently given to Peter, James, and John by the very Lord Himself, and then from them transmitted to the Prophet Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery in these latter days, is anything but boring to me.  

Yesterday's announcement regarding the ages of missionary service--particularly the ages at which women are eligible to serve the Lord as missionaries--was breathtaking.  Perhaps I am over-exaggerating, but to me this announcement seems like it will have a dramatic influence upon the missionary work and growth of the Church.  In 1974 when President Spencer W. Kimball urged every worthy young man to serve a mission, the Church began to grow rapidly.  That call for more missionaries preceded both the dramatic increase in Temple building (that began under President Kimball) and the 1978 revelation on the priesthood.  Perhaps this revelatory moment in the history of the Church could be preceding similarly dramatic growth and revelations.  At the very least, it is a call for increased spirituality and increased gospel teaching in the homes and families of the Church.

I was likewise moved by the announcement of a Temple in Arequipa, Peru.  The second that temple was announced, my mind went to my old missionary companion, Nefi Ccuno, who came to me straight from Arequipa, via the MTC in Provo.  From time to time it has been hard to keep track of Nefi in the last ten years, but if my assumption is correct, he likely hasn't been able to attend a dedicated Temple of the Lord since he was a missionary.  Nefi has been dealt a harder hand than I have ever considered.  For a person as bright and intelligent as he is, I am certain that the poverty and lack of educational opportunities in Peru have been a severe trial.  But I believe that this Temple will bless Nefi and reward his diligence and faith amidst life's deepest challenges.  And, believing, as I do, that the Temples of the Lord bless not only the people that attend them but also the cities where they are located, I hope and pray that there are brighter days ahead for Arequipa, Peru and those who live there.

There were so many talks in this conference that stood out to me that I'm not sure I could do justice to all of them.  The thing that stood out the most, however, was just the idea that it is time for us as Latter-day Saints to stand up and be distinctive for our beliefs and for our faith.  Elder Ballard referred to the symbol of the beehive.  As he spoke, I was reminded of two things.  The first was the early distinctiveness that characterized the State of Deseret and the Territory of Utah.  During the nineteenth century, we were simply different.  Plural marriage and the political unity of the Saints were big reasons for that distinctiveness, but we were different as a people and we were cohesive and unified as a people.  I believe that there are times when we could benefit from that old willingness to be different from the world.  The second thing that Elder Ballard reminded me of was an entry in the journal of James E. Talmage when he was a student at Johns Hopkins University in the 1880s (unfortunately I don't have time to dig it out of my files, like I ought to for accuracy).  The young James Talmage had been offered a  prestigious opportunity to remain and teach at a university in the East.  For a man who loved the academy and the thrill of scholarship, this was a highly tempting offer.  It was a chance for him to stay near the center of the nation's scientific research and likely to make a name for himself in the field.  But he knew what he had been sent to the East for:  namely, to get an education so that he could return and better the educational opportunities of those in the Church schools in Utah.  Thus, with a hint of sadness, but full of conviction, he concluded to return to Utah, noting that "as the bee must return to the hive, else it die, so must I."  He understood that he was to consecrate everything to the Church, and his very livelihood depended on such consecration.

That same message came across to me in so many different ways.  Elder Holland's talk, "The First Commandment", made this point as powerfully as any given.  He reminded me that my answer to the Lord's question "Lovest thou me?" means everything, now and forever!  Each speaker, in their own way, reminded me that we have a monumental work to do and the Lord is asking us to hasten and improve our efforts in that work.  That call to action has caused me to reflect on where and how I can begin to improve my less than perfect efforts in this supernal work.  For such calls to action, I am grateful once again for the General Conferences of the Church.

Brett