The Tender Mercies of the Lord

Picture taken the last time I was sick, June 2014

It's been an interesting weekend.  Beginning Thursday night, I knew that I was coming down with a cold.  Friday I was extremely tired and a little hazy, but managed to get through work and a friends Christmas party.  And then yesterday I was good enough to get some errands run, but knew by the evening that it was setting in at full strength.  And so today, I've spent the day sleeping, hoping that the rest will help me to recuperate quicker than usual.

For me, colds aren't a simple five to ten day affair.  If coughing accompanies the cold, it inevitably mixes with my asthma, creating a cough that can last anywhere from two to four weeks--and, at least recently, has usually meant a visit to Urgent care for a breathing treatment and a dosage of Prednisone that makes my blood pressure shoot up.  So needless to say, I wasn't particularly enthused about the prospect of this cold.

But this afternoon as I thought about all this, I also had another thought.  I realized that the last time I had gotten sick was June 2014, and the last time that I had dealt with a cold was December 2013-January 2014.  I know that some people have immune systems that work really well, and so long stretches of health like this are not uncommon.  I am not one of those people.  For me to make have made it nearly two years without a single cold, and to have made it a year and a half without being sick at all, is one of the greatest miracles of my life.

As I considered the timing of that all, it was a miracle that I desperately needed.  During most of that time, money has been scarce.  I spent all of last year teaching multiple adjunct classes at BYU and UVU, just to try to stay afloat financially.  I was living paycheck to paycheck during most of that time, and also receiving much appreciated assistance from my parents and others.  I simply didn't have time or money to be sick last year.  Furthermore, during the months that I would normally get sick last year (October-February), I was going through a painful breakup that at times required every ounce of strength I possessed to deal with.  All in all, it was a trying period of my life.  And yet, it was, by far, the healthiest period of my life that I can remember.

All during that time, I realized how great a blessing that health was.  I've been sick enough in my life that health isn't something I easily take for granted.  But the more I have pondered this blessing, the more I have realized that the Lord understands our limits and never gives us more than we can bear.  During this period of health, I was close to my limit several times.  I'm not sure that I could have handled being sick, and I believe the Lord knew that.  And so, He blessed me with health during that time.  And now, in December 2015, because the circumstances of my life are so radically different than the previous year, He knows that I can handle sickness again.

Even in the most difficult periods of our lives, we can rest assured that the Lord knows us and loves us and will not give us more than we can handle--and will even bless us with some of the greatest blessings and miracles that we have ever known concurrent with those trials.  We can rest assured, with Nephi, that "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20).  One year later, I can see clearly that blessings abound.  And just as important, I can see that great blessings always did abound, even when I could not see them clearly.  For that, I am eternally grateful!

Brett

Our Charted Course

I just have a short post for tonight because it is late.

In 1938, President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., addressed the Church's faculty of seminary and institute teachers at Aspen Grove, up Provo Canyon.  In that address, which has become a landmark address for Church educators, he quoted the following analogy:

"'When the mariner has been tossed for many days in thick weather, and on an unknown sea, he naturally avails himself of the first pause in the storm, the earliest glance of the sun, to take his latitude, and ascertain how far the elements have driven him from his true course.  Let us imitate this prudence, and, before we float farther on the waves of this debate, refer to the point from which we departed, that we may at least be able to conjecture where we now are.'"

President Clark then went on to explain the pertinence of these matters for the Church.  He said:  

"There are for the Church, and for each and all of its members, two prime things which may not be overlooked, forgotten, shaded, or discarded:  First—that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, the Creator of the world, the Lamb of God, the Sacrifice for the sins of the world, the Atoner for Adam’s transgression; that He was crucified; that His spirit left His body; that He died; that He was laid away in the tomb; that on the third day His spirit was reunited with His body, which again became a living being; that He was raised from the tomb a resurrected being, a perfect Being, the First Fruits of theResurrection; that He later ascended to the Father; and that because of His death and by and through His resurrection every man born into the world since the beginning will be likewise literally resurrected. . . . These positive facts, and all other facts necessarily implied therein, must all be honestly believed, in full faith, by every member of the Church.

"The second of the two things to which we must all give full faith is that the Father and the Son actually and in truth and very deed appeared to the Prophet Joseph in a vision in the woods; that other heavenly visions followed to Joseph and to others; that the gospel and the Holy Priesthood after the Order of the Son of God were in truth and fact restored to the earth from which they were lost by the apostasy of the primitive Church; that the Lord again set up His Church, through the agency of Joseph Smith; that the Book of Mormon is just what it professes to be; that to the Prophet came numerous revelations for the guidance, upbuilding, organization, and encouragement of the Church and its members; that the Prophet’s successors, likewise called of God, have received revelations as the needs of the Church have required, and that they will continue to receive revelations as the Church and its members, living the truth they already have, shall stand in need of more; that this is in truth The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; and that its foundation beliefs are the laws and principles laid down in the Articles of Faith. These facts also, and each of them, together with all things necessarily implied therein or flowing therefrom, must stand, unchanged, unmodified, without dilution, excuse, apology, or avoidance; they may not be explained away or submerged. Without these two great beliefs the Church would cease to be the Church."

He then concluded that these two things constituted "the latitude and longitude of the actual location and position of the Church, both in this world and in eternity." In other words, these two fundamentals were the geographic markers of our location along the path to eternal life.  And "Knowing our true position, we can change our bearings if they need changing; we can lay down anew our true course."

In order to chart a proper course, we must know two things.  First, we must know where we are going.  We must know our destination and we must know exactly where it is.  Second, we must know where we are right now.  We must know our actual location.  It is here that the latitude and longitude of our testimonies is most helpful.  We know where we are going, as our Heavenly Father has boldly taught us through Prophets and Scriptures that our destination is to become like Him and to live with Him and with our families in His Kingdom.  Therefore we must know where we actually are today.  We must be honest in our assessment of our location, as any prevarication will cause us to miss out on some of the steps and turns that we must take as we pursue our course toward our eternal home.

May we each be able to determine our actual location, and may we then chart a direct course to our eternal promised land.  No matter where we are today, He can and will provide us with appropriate directions and sufficient energy and strength to make that vital journey to our Heavenly home.

Brett

The Christmas Season

This is my favorite time of the year.  Growing up, I always loved the Christmas season, as it meant time with my family, trips to Grandma Dowdle's house in Orem, and trips to Nana and Papa Haycock's house in North Salt Lake.  I love the lights.  I love the trees and other decorations.  I love gifts under the tree.  And I love the excitement of Christmas morning as others open their gifts.  And I love gift giving.

As I thought about the season today, I was reminded of a letter that President Joseph F. Smith sent to his son David years ago.  In it, President Smith remembered some Christmases that had been very lean.  He wrote:

"From 1846 to 1848 and 9 I knew no Christmas, no holiday, and, indeed, if we had a Christmas or a New Year celebration at all before 1846--or until after I was married, for the life of me, at this moment I cannot remember it.  I was teamster, herd-boy, plow-boy, irrigator, harvester, with scythe or cradle, wood-hauler, thresher, winnower . . . , general roustabout, and a fatherless, motherless, and almost friendless missionary, and withal, always penniless. . . . Then when, after these dreary experiences, my own precious cherubs began to come along, we were existing on $3 per day for each working day employed, and that in tithing products at high prices.  Well, I cannot tell you how we managed to live at all, but we did!  God must have helped us, for I did not steal nor defraud my neighbor. . . . There were my three God-give mamas [his title for his wives, he going by papa], and our precious chicks, but not a dollar in cash, with which to buy one thing for Christmas.  I could draw a few pounds of flour, or meat, or a little molasses, or something of that kind, ahead, at the general Tithing Office and pay up at the end of the month with tithing scrip . . . which was not cash.  I saw many reveling in luxuries, with means to lavish on their every want, which were far more than their needs--riding in buggies, on prancing horses, enjoying their leisure, while I--we all! were on foot and of necessity tugging away with all our mights to keep soul and body together.  Under these spiritless conditions, one day just before Christmas, I left the old home with feelings I cannot describe.  I wanted to do something for my chicks.  I walked up and down Main Street, looking into the shop windows--into Amuser's jewelry store, into every store--everywhere--and then slunk out of sight of humanity and sat down and wept like a child, until my poured-out grief relieved my aching heart; and after awhile returned home, as empty as when I left, and played with my children, grateful and happy only for them and their beloved mothers" (Joseph F. Smith to David A. Smith, December 29, 1914, Improvement Era, January 1919, 266-67).

This isn't necessarily the kind of Christmas story that we love to tell at this season.  It is a story of hard Christmases without many things to be merry about.  No one saw and came to comfort the weeping father in the alley.  Shop keepers didn't open their stores and fill boxes and bags with goods well beyond this father's meager funds.  Strangers didn't show up at the door of the Smiths laden with presents.  He didn't find any money that he hadn't known he had.  There weren't stockings filled with goodies or presents neatly wrapped under the tree.  And there was no wonderment and awe as the little children opened presents on Christmas morning.  And yet. . . .

And yet, this is a beautiful Christmas story.  It is beautiful for the same reason that the Original Christmas Story is beautiful.  It is beautiful because a weeping father found comfort and contentment.  It is beautiful because God gave President Smith the strength to return home to his family with nothing in his hands, but with love in his heart.  It is beautiful because President Smith found that He was loved and accepted and welcomed by his wives and children simply because he was the husband and father in the home.  It is beautiful because he found joy and peace and gratitude in the arms of those he loved.

Perhaps this is one of those years when tight budgets and life's economic realities are going to make this one a meager Christmas at home.  Perhaps you are hurting over all the things that you cannot give to your loved ones.  If this is the case, speak to the Lord about your aching heart.  Ask for courage and strength and contentment.  And then go home and play with your children and spend time with your spouse.  Give of yourself.

Perhaps this is one of those years when blessings and good fortune allow you to buy more and to make this Christmas a lavish one.  Before you do too much, speak to the Lord with gratitude for your many blessings.  And then ask how you might be able to lift another who is not as blessed.  Ask for courage and strength and contentment.  And then go home and play with your children and spend time with your spouse.  Give of yourself.

Above all, remember that first Christmas Story and the difficult days that little family faced.  And remember that the greatest and most impactful gifts that you could give this season are to come closer to the Savior yourself and then to help others to come closer to Him with you.

Brett

For We Are Saved By Hope

This week I had the privilege of speaking in Church.  My topic was "Hope as an attribute of Christ."  I have to confess that in the past, as I've thought that in the three legged-stool that is composed of faith, hope, and charity, I have often placed the least emphasis and importance upon the attribute of hope.  It seemed so similar to faith that it just didn't capture much of my attention--and consequently it's vital role in the gospel escaped me.  Further, we are so influenced by the worldly definition of hope that we often fail to grasp the gospel's definition of this subject.  In worldly terms, hope denotes a kind of wishful uncertainty.  But in the gospel, hope yields confidence, assurance, and expectation.  It is this concrete, gospel definition that God desires us to ponder and obtain.  For as Paul declared, "We are saved by hope" (Romans 8:24).

When our world's fall apart and our proximate hopes disappoint us, we are saved by our Hope in Christ and in His perfect atonement which promises, in time, to set right all that has gone wrong.  Ultimate hope, therefore, is "tied to Jesus and to the blessings of the great Atonement, blessings resulting in the universal Resurrection and the precious opportunity provided thereby for us to practice emancipating repentance" (Neal A. Maxwell, October 1998 General Conference).  Rather than being "associated with things mercurial," it is defined by "things immortal and eternal" (NAM, October 1998 General Conference).

One of the things that intrigued me about  this particular topic was the idea of hope as an attribute of Christ, meaning that Christ must needs be our perfect Exemplar of hope.  I had never thought of this. Indeed, the scriptures do not directly speak of Christ having hope, and particularly not of Christ having hope in the atonement that He wrought.  But consider the hope that was required of Him when He uttered that saving declaration, "Here am I, send me" (Abraham 3:27).  With those words He was declaring His perfect hope and faith that He could fulfill His calling to be born into a lost and fallen world, be exposed to all manner of trials, afflictions, and temptations without giving into sin, to suffer as no man, and voluntarily lay down His life and take it up again, in order that He might have the capacity to redeem every willing soul from the chains of sin and death that they might become like unto their Father.  To be able to have confidence in that plan required the greatest display of faith and hope that has ever been manifested on this or any other earth.  It was hope in the plan and hope in the atonement that He had been called to bring to pass.

Throughout His life, He continued to manifest that same hope.  As the winds and the waves began to toss His ship mercilessly upon the sea, the Savior slept peacefully upon a pillow.  The troubled disciples woke Him and queried, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" (Mark 4:38).  It was perfect hope in His Father's plan that allowed the Master to sleep peacefully as storms raged and winds and waves threatened His boat.  All of us have been upon that boat and have asked foolishly, "Master, carest thou not that we perish?" disregarding hundreds and thousands of proofs to the contrary.  And yet, if our hopes are properly centered with Jesus as their radius, we fill find that in the storms of life, "there is hope smiling brightly before us."  We can then "know that deliverance is nigh."  And even if deliverance is not nigh, we can say as did three young disciples, "but if not . . ." Transcending the transient, true hope, gospel hope, allows us to take life's disappointments in stride, knowing that the eternal promises of God are sure.

Paul warned, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable" (1 Corinthians 15:19).  We seek, therefore, to cultivate a hope that transcends this life.  We seek a "hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God."  For it is this hope that "maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God" (Ether 12:4).

How do we obtain this hope?  Because this hope is founded in the perfect efficacy of Jesus' emancipating atonement, we cultivate this hope by exercising our "faith unto repentance" (Alma 34:17).  We cultivate this hope by making and keeping sacred covenants.  We cultivate this hope by receiving the Holy Ghost and the cleansing that He brings.  We cultivate this hope each time we feel the Atonement cleanse us, and lift us, and enable us.  We cultivate this hope by experiencing the love of Jesus.

And then, in the moments of greatest crisis, when our faith seems as if it might shake, we will find that "we are saved by hope."

Brett

Brother Brigham

Tonight will just be a short post, but it is one that I feel strongly about.  In June 2008 I began working for a friend and mentor who needed a research assistant for a biography that he was working on about Brigham Young.  As a Mormon History Aficionado, I was familiar with some of this historian's work, including the fact that he had been working on a long biography of Heber J. Grant, which was not yet completed.  Somewhat foolishly, I asked him why he was focusing on Brigham rather than finishing his biography on President Grant--for whom I have a great love.  It seemed to me that others, including former Church Historian Leonard J. Arrington, had done Brigham, while no one had done President Grant.  And no one had the expertise and understanding to do President Grant the way that he could.  So from my perspective, Brigham didn't make sense.  His response has been instructing me ever since.  He said simply: "Because Brigham matters more than Heber."

My boss's response was curious to me, because all of the Prophets matter.  But the more I thought about it, the more convinced I became of the truthfulness of my mentor's statement.  Second only to the questions of whether Joseph Smith was a true prophet and whether the current President of the Church is a true prophet, is the question "Was Brigham Young a true prophet?"  At one of the most critical juncture points in the history of the restoration, it was Brigham Young, standing as the President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and holding the keys he had received from Joseph Smith that directed this work to move forward.

In the years since 2008, I have grown to love Brother Brigham with my whole heart.  Many will ask me about him from time to time with questions that reflect an air of uncertainty.  Internet quotations (some true, most not), and rumors, and stories, and worries about polygamy all affect our image of Brigham Young.  But after 7 years of study, I can say truthfully that I know that Brigham Young was a prophet of God and I love him with my whole heart.

So here is the Brigham Young I've come to know:

He was far from perfect.  He could be rough and abrasive.  There is no denying that some of his statements were not as racially sensitive as we would like them to be--and as a Church we regret such statements and the cultural insensitivities that prompted them.  Even some of those closest to him had their moments where something he said or did stung and was hurtful to them.  This is not a man who was made for the political correctness of 2015.

And yet...

Despite his occasional roughness and abrasiveness, and despite some statements that we would no longer repeat, he was a Prophet of sound wisdom and love and, yes, compassion.  I have read the letter where he pleaded for mercy in behalf of a man who had committed SERIOUS (to the point of being unspeakable) transgression.  I have read his letters pleading with the pioneering saints to treat the local Indian tribes with greater compassion and charity.  I have read and studied countless sermons in which he gave strong and practical counsel to the Saints.  Just this last week, I read a beautiful sermon that he gave in Nauvoo, stating, "If we do not build the temple we shall lose all that we do in other matters" (BY, discourse, 26 January 1846, CHL).  This statement was made about Nauvoo, but what practical counsel for each of us in our lives and how we ought to treat the house of the Lord!  It is seldom that I read a Brigham Young sermon without finding myself chuckling from time to time and then moments later being inspired by the strength of the counsel he is giving.  Most of all, I have found a Brigham Young who felt a tremendous amount of love towards those over whom he had been called to preside.

Perhaps what I appreciate most about this man is how complete a personality he had.  Where some historical characters are black and white, Brigham is colorful and rich.  He can be enigmatic and he can be very straightforward.

Many come to vastly different conclusions than me, but as for me, Brigham Young was a servant of the Lord and one that I have grown to love and respect profoundly.  If anyone ever has questions about him, I am happy to try to answer them.

Brett

"Hold on, Wait a Little While"

I apologize for not writing last week.  Things have gotten very busy with tithing settlement and other interviews lately, so some Sundays I just run out of time to write.  It's been an interesting couple of weeks.  I started officially dating a beautiful girl named Ashley Camargo.  She is bright and intelligent and funny and loves the Lord.  It is still early, but I'm really enjoying spending time with her.

In case you weren't aware there were also some other things that happened this week with regards to Church policy.  I have a lot of friends on both sides of this issue, each with very strong feelings.  As a standard policy, I tend to stay out of Facebook discussions on these issues, but since this is my private blog and one that I don't expect will be shared outside of my circle of close friends and family, perhaps I will share a couple of stories.

First, when I first saw the report of the policy change on Thursday night, I must admit that my initial feelings were that it sounded rather harsh and that I was uncertain of it.  And so I think I can understand a little bit of where many of my friends are coming from.  But I was reminded of two quotations, one from Brigham Young and the other from President Eyring that I believe are instructive.

In August 1852, Brigham Young spoke to the saints about his first moments learning about the Book of Mormon.  He said, "When the book of Mormon was first printed, it came to my hands in two or three weeks afterwards.  Did I believe, on the first intimation of it?  The man that brought it to me, told me the same things; says he, 'This is the Gospel of salvation; a revelation the Lord has brought forth for the redemption of Israel; it is the Gospel; and according to Jesus Christ, and his Apostles, you must be baptized for the remission of sins, or you will be damned.'  'Hold on,' says I.  The mantle of my traditions was over me, to that degree, and my prepossessed feelings so interwoven with my nature, it was almost impossible for me to see at all; though I had beheld, all my life, that the traditions of the people was all the religion they had, I had got a mantle for myself.  Says I, 'Wait a little while; what is the doctrine of the book, and the revelations the Lord has given?  Let me apply my heart to them;' and after I had done this, I considered it to be my right to know for myself, as much as any man on earth.  I examined the matter studiously for two years before I made up my mind to receive that book.  I knew it was true, as well as I knew that I could see with my eyes, or feel by the touch of my fingers, or be sensible of the demonstration of any sense.  Had not this been the case, I never would have embraced it to this day. . . . I wished time sufficient to prove all things for myself."  (Brigham Young, 8 August 1852, Complete Discourses of Brigham Young, 1:558).

In April 1997, President Eyring gave this example:  "Sometimes we will receive counsel that we cannot understand or that seems not to apply to us, even after careful prayer and thought.  Don't discard the counsel, but hold it close.  If someone you trusted handed you what appeared to be nothing more than sand with the promise that it contained gold, you might wisely hold it in your hand awhile, shaking it gently.  Every time I have done that with counsel from a prophet, after a time the gold flakes have begun to appear and I have been grateful." (Henry, B. Eyring, April 1997 General Conference).

Both President Young and President Eyring were teaching an important principle about the messages of the Lord:  sometimes it takes time.  This is good counsel for all of us to remember.  In my case, after a few moments of uncertainty, trust in God and in his prophets came, followed by the calm reassurance that God is indeed at the helm of this Church and that He guides our Prophets and leaders.  But I know that for some, that reassurance and those answers did not come immediately, and probably have not yet come.  For any who are still feeling hurt and confused, please hold on for a little while.  For any for whom answers came quickly who are worried about friends and family who are upset, please hold on for a little while, and please allow them the time to study things out and come to understanding themselves.  It may take time.  It took President Young two years, but the answers came.  It has taken others longer, but the answers come.  God works with each of us on our own timetable, and so we must hold on with faith, hold on with hope, and hold on with charity, allowing Him the opportunity to teach each of us in our own time and in our own season.

An example of this that I love concerns my grandparents.  They had always wanted to visit Spain.  During one of President Lee's traveling tours in either 1972 or 1973, he was scheduled to go to Jerusalem with President Hinckley, but was not going to take my Nana and Papa Haycock with him to Jerusalem.  This meant that they had some free time after the initial assignments in Europe, and could make their desired trip to Spain.  When my Papa told President Lee of the trip, President Lee was hesitant and uncomfortable.  He told my Papa that he wasn't comfortable with that plan.  The following day he apologized and said that my Nana and Papa should go forward with their plans and that it would be fine.  My Papa responded that they had changed their plans because if President Lee was uncomfortable about the trip, that was enough for them.

Nana and Papa never made it to Spain during their lifetime (though I feel confident that they spent much time there during the 18 months that my cousin Monica served in Malaga as a missionary).  They never knew during this lifetime what sort of issues might have occurred if they had made that particular trip.  As far as I know, the answers regarding those concerns never actually came in this lifetime.  And yet, I am confident in the fact that they were blessed for their willingness to heed a prophet in such a small matter.  Perhaps nothing would have happened if they had gone.  But that story has served as an example to their children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren for many years since that time.

I am aware that this story does not accurately reflect the feelings of many at this time.  And perhaps it is a poor example for the current circumstances.  But one of the few things of which I am absolutely certain is that great blessings flow from a willingness to follow the living prophets--particularly when we do not fully understand their counsel at the time it is given.  For any who are struggling at the moment, "Hold on.  Wait a little while."  Answers and blessings will come.

Brett

The Happiest Place on Earth

This past Thursday was my Mom's birthday.  Sadly, I spent the day traveling to Portland and then listening to historians talk about various and sundry aspects of the American West, meaning that I didn't have the opportunity to celebrate with her on that special day.  Worse still, I haven't gotten her a birthday present.  When I asked her what she wanted, she reminded me that she wanted me to write up a memory of my grandparents (Nana and Papa) for a book of memories that she is compiling for my Papa's 100th birthday this coming year.  And so I thought I would take the opportunity to use this blog to fulfill her birthday request.

Simply put, I had the greatest grandparents a boy could ever have in my Grandma and Grandpa Dowdle and my Nana and Papa Haycock.  I vividly remember trips about two miles south to my Grandma Dowdle's house in Orem (sadly, cancer claimed my Grandpa Dowdle before I knew him well) and an hour north to my Nana and Papa Haycock's house in Bountiful.  These trips were the highlight of my young life.

I never went to Disneyland but for me, Bountiful was the happiest place on earth.  Growing up, I had a lot of insecurities about my small size and my slow speech.  It seemed like friends were always bigger, stronger, faster, and even smarter than I was.  But when we went to visit Nana and Papa's house in Bountiful, I was the most loved boy in the world.  My Nana and Papa who were used to the presence of dignitaries treated me like I was an honored dignitary in their house.  I felt like I was their most prized grandchild--the reality was that each of us was the most prized grandchild.  My grandfather who had enjoyed the company of Prophets listened to my every word, paid attention to what my interests were, and went out of his way to support those interests.

When I first became drawn to the subject of history during my 5th grade discussion of the Civil War, my Nana and Papa scoured their private bookshelves and then the shelves of bookstores to find books on the Civil War that they might add to my small library of materials on the subject.  Some of the first books I owned for myself were these books on the American Civil War detailing things like uniform styles, battle locations, weaponry, etc.  They made a historian out of me simply by caring about a subject that had seemed to strike a chord with me.  To this day, I can't think of the Civil War or Lincoln without thinking about my Nana and Papa.

My Papa's final month is etched into my memory forever.  On a Sunday afternoon in January, my Dad made the decision that we ought to go up to Bountiful--an unusual decision for a school night, but one that we welcomed with joy.  Knowing of our Nana and Papa's love for feeding their grandchildren, we worried that he would want to go out to eat on the Sabbath in order to alleviate our Nana of any challenges.  We packed sandwiches so that we wouldn't have to go out to eat.  But when we got there, my Papa insisted that we go to Chuck-A-Rama as a family.  Words cannot express how grateful I am that we went to Chuck-A-Rama with Nana and Papa that night.  The next day, Dad called us all together in the living room to tell us that Papa had suffered a massive heart attack the previous day and that he and mom needed to rush to LDS Hospital in Salt Lake.  After an open-heart surgery and a subsequent stroke, he was gone on the morning of February 25, 1994.  The news that morning broke my 13 year old heart.  Although I had grown up in a strong and active home, I had not yet come to my own testimony and understanding of the reality of the atonement and the resurrection.  All I knew was that the grandfather I adored was now gone.

That moment drove my soul.  Two years later, I began my serious study of the Book of Mormon and the scriptures and began to find the comfort that I had needed with the death of my Papa.  As I learned more and more about the Church and the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I learned more about my Papa and the cause he had devoted his life to.  In the process, I began to find myself and the sense of security that I had always felt at Nana and Papa's home in Bountiful.  Twenty-one years later, so much of my reason for studying the history of the Church goes back to my love for my Papa Haycock.  Twenty-one years later, my Nana and Papa Haycock and my Grandma and Grandpa Dowdle continue to encourage me in the fields that I love.  As much as anything, this encouragement burnishes my testimony that this life is not the sum total of eternity, but rather a blip on the screen, following which we will be greeted by loved ones who never truly left our sides and certainly never stopped caring about the aims and accomplishments of their children and grandchildren.  And what a reunion that coming day will be!

Brett

Whatever Difficulties Might Surround You

Last week was my first week of full time at the Joseph Smith Papers--for those who didn't know, I was taken on at full time for a year as a research assistant for the project, which has been great.  Although I miss the luxury of being able to sleep till 7 on Fridays, I am really enjoying my work at the project.

One of my assignments this week was to compile a list of the Prophet's debts to New York creditors in 1840.  In the process of compiling this list, one of the editors directed me toward the Prophet's 1843 declaration of bankruptcy.  This was the very first time I had ever seen this document.  I have to confess that it brought tears to my eyes as I read through the Prophet's list of outstanding debts--most of which he had incurred during the period from 1837 to 1839.  The grand total for his debts was approximately $107,000.  Adjusted for inflation, he was $2.84 million dollars in debt in 1843.  Along with this document, I read letters that Joseph wrote to some of his creditors, telling them that he was desperately trying to repay his debts, but simply lacked the capital to do so.

It is no surprise to any faithful member of this Church that Joseph's life wasn't easy.  We all know about the deaths of his children, the tarring and feathering, Liberty, Carthage, and many of his other struggles.  And we know about Joseph's financial difficulties and the Kirtland Safety Society's failure.  But this document helped me to come to a deeper appreciation for just how difficult these struggles were and for just how human the Prophet was.  Now, most of us don't know what it is to be $2.84 million dollars in debt, but almost all of us have known moments where we faced bills that we could not pay; months where we wondered how we would possibly make our rent; and perhaps even weeks where we wondered how we could manage to get by on the bare minimum for groceries and still have sufficient to eat.  These are terrifying times that tax the very depth of our souls.  And yet they are real moments, real struggles, the common lot of almost all mortals, and even prophets.

For some the humanity of prophets seems to be a trial.  Their mistakes and failures and sins seem to be more than they can bear--and far be it for me to criticize something that troubles my fellow brothers and sisters.  But for me, the humanity of prophets is what draws me to them.  That a man as great as the Prophet Joseph could know such crippling and depressing debt and still counsel us to "never get discouraged, whatever difficulties might surround [us]," as we would ultimately "come out on the top of the heap" through our exercise of "faith  and . . . good courage" (George A. Smith, memoir, Winter 1835) is truly remarkable.

As far as we know, Joseph never managed to pay off the $107,000 during his lifetime.  He died with deep monetary debts, and yet he died as the richest man of the nineteenth century--full of faith in the Savior's atonement and in His promises of eventual triumph.  No matter our circumstances, may we heed this wise counsel given to his cousin George A. Smith, who told Joseph that he "was almost discouraged" by the pain of his arthritis in the winter of 1835:

"He told me I should never get discouraged, whatever difficulties might surround me, if I was sunk in the lowest pit of Nova Scotia & all the Rocky Mountains piled on top of me, I ought not to be discouraged but hang on, exercise faith and keep up good courage and I should come out on the top of the heap."

May we emulate that Prophet who did hang on, exercise faith, and keep up good courage, ultimately coming out on top of the heap.

Brett

They Have Become Free Forever

Last week my sister Stephanie mentioned the verses that she had chosen to "ponderize" as Brother Devin G. Durrant recently suggested during General Conference.  I thought about a number of different verses, but the one that I finally settled on was 2 Nephi 2:26.  I love this particular verse because it is one of those verses that we often skip over due to the famous verses before and after it.  And yet in many regards I find this verse to be the key to understanding the two verses on opposite sides of it.

Verse 25 reminds us that "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy."  And Verse 27 states, "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man.  And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he skeet that all men might be miserable like unto himself."

These two verses remind us that the fall and the plan were given to enable us to choose the Lord and his plan of happiness, although we also have the opportunity to choose the captivity of the devil.  These are illuminating verses.  But it is verse 26 that seems to illuminate and expand our understanding of the doctrines of agency taught in the other two verses.

Verse 26 reads, "And the Messiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may redeem the children of men from the fall.  And because that they are redeemed from the fall they have become free forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the law at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given."

There are a number of things that I love about verse 26.  But the principle thing that I love about this verse is the way that it expands our understanding of agency.  It reminds us that the freedom and agency we possess is a purchased freedom, bought with the blood of our Savior Jesus Christ.  So often we speak of agency as though it is just the ability to do whatever we want to do.  At times we will add in the fact that our choices come with accountability, as verse 27 explains.  But even this doesn't seem to give us a full grasp of the weight of those choices.  It is only when we begin to contemplate the fact that the Savior himself purchased our freedom that we begin to understand the accompanying responsibility of our choices.

As we contemplate the meaning of the word agency, it helps to think about the meaning of the word agent.  In sports an agent is the person hired to take care of the things that the player himself does not have the time (and in most cases the ability) to take care of.  He or she negotiates the contracts, determines the conditions of those contracts, and basically acts for an in behalf of the player in question.  This ability and power to act in behalf of that player is his agency.  Agents are therefore given tremendous amounts of power to act in behalf of those they represent.  But this power is also contingent upon how well they represent the player who hired them.  No agent, for instance, would ever negotiate a final contract for a player that blatantly violated that player's personal desires and wishes.  At least no agent that wished to remain employed would ever do that.

By teaching us that, having been "redeemed from the fall," and, as a result, having "become free forever," Lehi is reminding us that our freedom was purchased by the Son of God.  Because Christ came, we have the power within us to work works of righteousness and obedience; we have the power to serve the living God.  Had it not been for the atonement, we must necessarily have "become devils, angels to a devil, to be shut out from the presence of God, and to remain with the father of lies, in misery, like unto himself" (2 Nephi 9:9).  In other words, were it not for the atonement, wickedness, sin, and damnation is all that we could ever have known.  But because of the Savior, we have the freedom and power to choose godliness, righteousness, and salvation.  In other words, having been purchased by the blood of Christ, we become agents of the Savior, with power to act in His name and to do His will.

Agency, therefore, is not the right to do whatever we want.  Agency is the right and power to serve our Savior, to do His will, and to bless His children.  Knowing this, it changes my understanding of this important doctrine.

Brett

A Remarkable Conference

This is just a short post.  This week I had a number of memorable experiences.  First, on Monday I attended the funeral of Elder Richard G. Scott in the Tabernacle.  It was a beautiful and tender occasion as we honored that wonderful apostle of the Son of God.  I rejoiced at the thought that he was reunited with his beloved Jeanene, who had passed on 20 years earlier.  The following day, I was given the opportunity of touring the newly renovated LDS Church History Museum for work.  It is a beautiful new display and well-worth a visit from anyone who is in downtown Salt Lake for a few hours.  The new First Vision film itself is well worth your time.  Take your children or grandchildren or just take yourself.  I promise that you won't be disappointed.  On Thursday I had a special experience at the Salt Lake Temple with President Cecil O. Samuelson, Jr., but will keep that one private.

The final great blessing of this week came today and yesterday as we participated in another General Conference of the Church.  We were blessed to see something that has not happened since April 1906, with the calling and sustaining of three new members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and we were blessed by their powerful testimonies.  Additionally, we were privileged to hear from the Prophet of the living God, who reminded us that we are to be examples of the believers and to let our lights shine forth unto the children of men, that their faith might increase and grow.

Two short take aways from conference:

1) I think that the image of the Prophet of God holding tightly to the pulpit and delivering each and every last word that he had prepared despite fading energy will stick with me forever.  It was clear that he was struggling to get through the final minutes of his sermon, but there he stood, resolute and determined to bear his powerful witness to the Church of God.  This was a very real and very visible representation of the truth that Elder Bednar taught, that there are lessons to be gained in old and fading health that cannot be obtained in vibrant youth.  We need both, but thank heavens the Lord allows us to see moments when our Prophets soldier on through declining health.

2) Prior to this conference, and at other times in the past, I fell prey to the danger of making predictions about who would fill the vacancies in the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  I knew that President Lee had once declared that speculating about such matters was "not pleasing in the sight of the Lord" (Harold B. Lee, Ensign, January 1973, 107), but I had not understood what the problem was with making a guess.  It seemed harmless.  Last night as I contemplated the new calls to the Twelve, and some of the social media responses to those calls, I realized what was so problematic about those guesses.  When we make guesses, we become tied to those guesses.  We almost expect that our guess must be right, and we run the risk of being angry when the Lord inevitably proves to have a different plan (or even worse, we become prideful if our guess happened to be correct).  What begins as a "harmless guess" may well be the means of undermining our faith in the divine authenticity of apostolic calls.  Rather than attempting to counsel the Lord, I hope that when future vacancies will occur, I will devote more time to praying for the humility to sustain whomever the Lord calls, and leave the process of choosing His chosen messengers to the Lord Himself.

All in all, what a wonderful weekend, filled with inspired and pertinent counsel for our days.  I know that as we heed these words of life that we have received, they will become a veritable fountain of living water within us, renewing our souls, building our faith in the Son of God, and ultimately springing up unto everlasting life.

Brett

From Faith to Faith

Just in case anyone didn't hear about it, yesterday's BYU football game was an abysmal disaster of Biblical proportions.  But gratefully the world did not end.  Now on to something happier to write about.

Today in Sunday School, we talked about Paul's Epistle to the Romans.  Romans is a critical book for all of our Evangelical brothers and sisters, but it is sadly a book that Latter-day Saints at times forget about.  It is filled with beautiful doctrines that are vital to the faith of every true Saint, and it is a beautiful testimony of the absolute importance of the atonement in each of our lives.  As we studied it, I realized that I need to go back and reread this beautiful testimony.

Two verses in particular stood out to me today.  The instructor had us read Paul's famous declaration "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek" (Rom 1:16).  But then she also had us read the following verse: "For therein is the righteousness of God revealed from faith to faith: as it is written, The just shall live by faith" (Rom 1:17).  The Prophet's translation renders this verse, "For therein is the righteousness of God revealed through faith on his name; as it is written, The just shall live by faith" (JST Rom 1:17).  This is a case where I love both renderings of the verse.  The Prophet's rendering clarifies the meaning of Paul's words and explains that we come to understand God's character and goodness through faith on the name of Jesus Christ.  That small change is invaluable to our scriptural canon.

But it is the standard King James text that impressed me today, and particularly the phrase, "from faith to faith."  We come to know God's goodness and love and mercy "from faith to faith."  I may be misinterpreting the apostle's words, but as I contemplated those words, I began to think about the experiences we go through in our lives.  So many of those experiences require the utmost of our faith, almost to the point of exhausting that faith.  But in spite of the difficulty, we believe and exercise our faith to the utmost of our abilities, and find that it is sufficient for the trials we must faith.  And then we come to the next trial that again requires a significant outlay of faith.  And we again wonder how we can possibly make it through, only to find that the faith we thought we had exhausted in the previous trial had returned and had been enlarged, allowing us to endure this new challenge.  And so on and so on.

To give a couple of concrete examples, let's look at Abraham and Joseph Smith.  Abraham grew up in a challenged home; his father attempted to offer him to a false god; he left home after home after home; while being promised seed as the sands of the seashore, he and Sarah endured decades of childlessness; and when he finally had a son, God asked him to offer that son in righteousness.  This litany of trials included several that would have been enough alone to destroy lesser men.  And yet Abraham endured.

Joseph Smith underwent a similar trajectory of trials.  He was born into crippling poverty as a child; he underwent an excruciating surgery at age five; his family was nearly torn apart by disagreements over faith; he lost numerous children to death; he was persecuted, imprisoned, and ultimately killed for his beliefs; and on and on and on.  And yet, Abraham-like, these trials that would have destroyed lesser men, did not destroy him or his faith in God.

What we learn from these examples is that for the righteous and striving, trials do not destroy faith, they facilitate it.  Abraham and Joseph Smith and a host of other worthy men and women have grown from faith to faith.  Each trial has only strengthened their understanding of the Savior and their love of His gospel.  And so, rather than the aggregate weight of their trials weighing them down, their trials actually buoyed up their faith and strengthened and enlarged it, preparing them for the next trial to come.

May we all grow from faith to faith.

Brett

Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

I spent the last few minutes wracking my brain to come up with some sort of nice introduction, but couldn't think of anything, so this meaningless-placeholding sentence is what you get.  I'm sure that anyone who reads this is tired of me talking about BYU football, but it is my hobby outside of work, so that is what you get.  The team ran out of last-minute miracles last night and lost by 1 point to #10 UCLA at the Rose Bowl.  And that was actually what I wanted to write about today.

I had a strange experience at the end of the game last night that anyone who knows me well will find similarly surprising.  With 50 seconds left and BYU down by 1, Tanner Magnum (BYU's QB) threw an interception, meaning that the game was effectively over.  Normally such plays would send me into either some sort of rant or some sort of depressed melancholy.  But in that moment, I found myself clapping for the guys, the effort they had given, and how well they had played against a very good team.  Rather than being unable to go to sleep for a few hours because I kept going over the loss in my mind, I quickly fell asleep--which was good because it was midnight and I had a 7 am meeting.  I simply wasn't bothered by the interception or the loss.

Now this may sound ridiculous to non-sports fans--and it probably is--but any true sports fan will tell you that the post-loss funk is a real thing.  So I was surprised at how well I took things.  When I woke up this morning I kept thinking about the experience and what had happened.  As I thought about it, I had an impression--again something that is so simple that it is foolish to think that I needed an impression to understand it.  The impression was simply: "BYU football is not the gospel of Jesus Christ."  Because that statement is so obviously true that to think contrary is absurd, I'll explain what I mean.

Of course I know and have always known that that is true.  But in tough moments during the past, I have subconsciously looked to BYU football to make everything that was wrong in my life right.  If things were going wrong, I looked to the team to get wins where I felt like everything else in my life was turning up as losses.  And I learned by hard experiences that BYU football was a very poor gospel to have faith in during troubled times.  Last year, Taysom Hill went down and BYU lost four straight games at the most inopportune of times, leaving me even more angry and frustrated than I had been before.  As dumb as it was, I connected the outcomes of that game to the rest of my life because I was looking to BYU football to make things right when I should have been looking to the Savior.

We all do this.  For some it is a football or basketball game.  For others, it is a career or a school achievement.  For others, it is a new car.  Perplexed and troubled by other struggles, we look to other sources to give us validation, to say that everything isn't wrong, to give us hope.  We turn to these other things only to find out that teams can lose games, careers can suffer setbacks, someone else may beat us out for this achievement or that scholarship, new cars may get dinged at the grocery store.  Even placing our validation in relationships and families is unwise, as good relationships can fall apart and even the best of family members can let us down.  This is not meant to be pessimistic.  I love and will continue to cheer on my teams.  We all enjoy and should seek for career and school advancements.  Everyone loves riding in a new car.  And certainly relationships and families are among the best investments of time and effort we ever make.  I am not suggesting that we should disregard any of these important things.

What I am suggesting is that we must learn that there is only one safe harbor in which we can anchor our faith:  The Lord Jesus Christ and His Everlasting Gospel.  Everything else, no matter how well made, how well intentioned, or how well prepared for, will ultimately let us down at some point or another.  In those moments, if we have lost the proper perspective and have placed our faith in anything other than the Savior, we will find ourselves tossed mercilessly upon the seas of doubt.  I never intentionally placed my faith in BYU football.  But by looking to it as a kind of savior in difficult times, I took my eyes, ever-so-slightly off of the Son of God.

Last night I felt like a bit of proper perspective had begun to return.  It didn't diminish from my enjoyment of the game or of BYU football.  In fact, it actually made the game more enjoyable because I didn't have to worry about every missed throw or every sack or penalty or whatever.  I could enjoy the game for what it was without needing it to be something that it was utterly incapable of being.

Brett

When? and What?

Honestly this picture doesn't have anything to do with this post, but there is not any good art for the verses I wanted to write about, so I thought I'd include a beautiful picture of the moment just before Mitchell Jurgens caught the game winning touchdown last night with 45 seconds left against Boise State.  It's not often that you win two games in a row with rather dramatic and desperate throws towards the end zone on 4th down from a true freshman quarterback.  And yes, I managed to lose my voice again last night.  I should probably stop doing that, as I'm fairly certain that it isn't good for my vocal cords.  But in the moment it seems entirely worth it.  And, to be honest, my voice was gone by the end of the first quarter last night anyway.  Anyhow...

Recently I've become more and more impressed by the questions that people ask in the scriptures.  Asking questions is one of the vital habits of growth in time and in eternity.  But asking questions is also a skill that must be mastered.  Although we frequently say that there is "no such thing as a bad question," anyone who has ever taught in any capacity knows that this well-meaning saying couldn't be further from the truth.  There are good questions and there are bad questions in the classrooms of schools and universities.  These questions distract from, rather than contribute to, the atmosphere of learning and generally serve little purpose.  More importantly there are good questions and there are bad questions in the classroom of mortality.  And the questions that we ask determine our capacity to learn and grow in our understanding of the gospel.

While teaching his son Corianton, Alma began teaching his wandering son about the Resurrection, having perceived that Corianton's "mind [was] worried concerning the resurrection of the dead" (Alma 40:1).  Justifying these questions and sympathizing with Corianton's worries about the issue, Alma explained that he had also wondered about that important doctrine and had "inquired diligently of God that [he] might know--that is concerning the resurrection" (Alma 40:3).  From Alma's words to his son, we find that Alma had asked at least two questions about the resurrection.

Alma's first question revolved around the timing of the resurrection.  He knew there was "a time appointed that all shall come forth from the dead," but it seems to have been made clear to him that "when this time cometh no one knows."  He went on to explain that "whether there shall be one time, or a second time, or a third time, that men shall come forth from the dead; it mattereth not."  In other words, the Lord declined to give his prophet an answer in regards to the question, "When?"  But Alma then twice reassured his son that "God knoweth the time which is appointed" and "God knoweth all these things; and it sufficeth me to know that this is the case--that there is a time appointed that all shall rise from the dead" (Alma 40:4-5).

Alma's second question revolved around "what becometh of the souls of men from this time of death to the time appointed for the resurrection" (Alma 40:7). This question of "what?" that consumed Alma's thoughts  far more deeply than the question of "when?"  In response to this question, the Lord was far more forthcoming, revealing that "the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.  And then it shall come to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care and sorrow" (Alma 40:11-12).

As I pondered these familiar verses, I was intrigued by the two questions and the two responses.  The question of "What?" had yielded a powerful revelation, pregnant with doctrinal insight and spiritual comfort.  The question of "When?" had resulted in a relatively brief answer and an invitation for Alma to continue to exercise faith in God's knowledge and God's timing.

In our lives, all of us has occasion to ask "what?" and "when?" questions, and in many regards I believe that the Lord's answers to those questions will almost always follow the pattern that we see in Alma 40.  "When?" is not necessarily a bad question.  As we can see through Alma, the question of "when?" yielded a significant opportunity for this prophet to develop faith and trust in God.  But in our moments of spiritual impatience, it is easy for us to disregard the Lord's answer to our questions of "when?"  When that occurs, this formerly good question can become unproductive and perhaps even destructive.  If the Lord has answered your question of "when?" with an invitation to trust Him and His plan, then it is time to let that question alone for a season.  On the other hand, the Lord seems to be almost eternally willing to answer our questions of "what?," particularly when phrased "What am I to learn from this experience?"  Alma's "what?" question became a means of providing comfort to those who were mourning and understanding to those who were struggling.  As we covenant to consecrate God's answers about what we are to learn in a way that builds and blesses those around us, we will find that the windows of revelation will open to us and our minds will be enlightened with an understanding of our own challenges and trials.  Then, in the reaching out towards and blessing of others, we will discover the true purpose of the tempests of life.  In the end, "what?" will simply matter more than "when?"

Brett

We Have to Grow into the Stature of Perfect Men and Women in Christ Jesus

Willard Richards

Hello all who read this!  I hope that you've had a great week!  I capped the week by experimenting again with making BBQ ribs.  Actually my mom did the hard work, as all I did was prepare them in the marinade yesterday and get a dry rub put together for them.  She did the hard work of getting them out of the marinade, putting the rub on, and then doing the cooking until I could get home to put them on the grill for the finishing touches with BBQ sauce.  They turned out well and it was fun to enjoy them with the whole family.  Anyhow, enough about meat.

This week I came across a letter written by Willard Richards in May 1839.  At the time he wrote the letter, Willard was presiding over the Church in England, where he had been laboring as a missionary since 1837.  At the time he had embarked on that mission, he had been a member of the Church for less than a year, having learned the gospel from and been baptized by his cousin, Brigham Young.  The following is a portion of what Willard wrote home to his family:

". . . Before we entered into the New Covenant you doubtless remember that there was some uncertainty or doubt upon our minds.  We felt that it was possible we might be deceived; that we might be wrong while we were re-thinking ourselves right; and we were looking forward with anxiety to the day of our departure and to the Judgment seat; thinking that every day was bringing us nearer and nearer to our destination doubting what it might be.  But is it so now?  I can truly say that I rejoice every day that passes that another day is gone into Eternity, and that I am one day nearer that rest that remaineth for the people of God.  If by the grace of God I shall remain faithful unto the end; (for he only that endureth to the End shall be saved) for I know in whom I have believed and I know that there is no other way given under heaven whereby men can be saved in the presence of God, but through obedience to the Gospel and the whole of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as made known in former and latter days by the revelations of the Most High God.  And I know assuredly that I am contending for the same faith which was once delivered to the Saints, but however feebly I may do it; for we are not yet perfect but we have to GROW into the stature of perfect men and women in Christ Jesus" (Willard Richards to Rhoda, Nancy, and Phinehas Richards, 10 May 1839, Richards Family Papers, MS 1558, box 1, folder 1, CHL).

The thing that stood out to me was the progression that had happened in Willard's life, in the space of just a few years.  I love the fact that Willard had been trepidatious when he was first hearing the gospel.  He was concerned about being deceived; concerned about following the wrong path.  It made me think about how, as a missionary, I used to get frustrated by people who didn't move fast enough or progress fast enough in the Kingdom.  But reading Willard's words, it helped me to see things from the perspective of the investigator or new convert.  As a missionary I didn't realize just how much I was asking them to change--although these changes are vital and important.  The truth is, spiritual progression is a process that requires great faith and often takes some time.  Willard's initial hesitancy did not preclude him from becoming a powerful force in the kingdom.  Within a matter of a few years, he had arrived at a place where his doubts had fled, being replaced by a desire to continue to grow and to remain faithful.

All of us have areas where perhaps we are fearful, and where we wonder how we can possibly exercise the faith needed to grow.  But if there are doubts and questions today, be assured that growth can happen and certainty can come.  That growth and that assurance will come as we exercise greater and greater amounts of faith in our Savior who loves us.  May we all continue our efforts to "grow into the stature of perfect men and women in Christ Jesus."

Brett

There Shall Be A Record Kept Among You

Just a short post today.  This morning as I was trying to stave off a cold with some additional sleep, I began thinking about journals and the other records we keep.  I must confess that although I write in my journal every day, I'm not a very good journal keeper.  By that I mean that my journal entries consist principally of my thoughts as I read the scriptures, but don't include a lot of information about my personal life and the things that happen to me.  While I believe those thoughts are valuable, I'm not sure that a future reader would get a very thorough picture of me by reading them.  This is something that I need to remedy in the coming days.

These omissions lead me to wonder why I don't write more about my life in my journals.  Generally I suppose I don't write things because I don't think they are worth being written.  Information about my day or where I went or what I did, just doesn't seem interesting.  And yet when I read through old journals I constantly find those small little details to be useful, and even wish that people had written more of them.  The things that people felt didn't need to be written are frequently the things that I wish had been written.

None of us lives a life of constant interest or excitement.  Most of our days are dominated by the ordinary and unexciting.  But it is in ordinary and regular discipleship that we find our greatest joy.  Indeed, as I have spent time going through journals and letters, I find myself inspired most frequently by the ordinary and habitual acts of discipleship, as well as the imperfections that accompany such devotion.  In keeping such records, we obey the commandment of the Lord, given on the first day of the Church's organization.  He commanded the Saints, "Behold, there shall be a record kept among you."  (D&C 21:1)

President Spencer W. Kimball gave us wonderful counsel regarding this commandment.  In the October 1975 New Era he wrote, "How happy we are as we find our grandparents' journals and follow them through their trials and joys and gain for our own lives much from the experiences and faith and courage of our ancestors.  Accordingly, we urge our . . . people to begin today to write and keep records of all the important things in their own lives and also the lives of their antecedents in the event that their parents should fail to record all the important incidents in their own lives.  Your own private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you.  Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity.  Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. . . . No one is commonplace, and I doubt if you can ever read a biography from which you cannot learn something from the difficulties overcome and the struggles made to succeed.  These are the measuring rods for the progress of humanity. . . . Your own journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them. . . . Your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully.  You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life.  There may be a flash of illumination here and a story of faithfulness there; you should truthfully record your real self and not what other people may see in you. . . . Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity."

The more I find from my ancestors and others that I study, the more I am grateful for the time they took to write.  May we likewise bless those who will come after us with a record of our lives and testimonies.  Whether we have children of our own or whether we presently lack that blessing, these records will become a blessing to someone and to the Church to which we belong if we will be faithful to this commandment.

Brett

A Direct Course

This past week has been an interesting one.  Schools have started back up for kids.  TCU started last week.  UVU starts tomorrow and BYU the following week.  But other than my dissertation work--which never stops--being technically connected to a school year, nothing has changed for me.  I am not teaching any classes and I am not taking any classes.  It's a unique feeling after so many years of studies.  And yet it is really good.  This past week was highlighted by some important discoveries for work.

As I was studying my scriptures this past week, I came across Alma's wonderful words about the Liahona to his son Helaman in Alma 37.  Alma informed his son that the Liahona "did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.  Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works.  They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey; Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions" (Alma 37:40-42).

As I read these words, I began asking myself a question.  If Laman and Lemuel and the rest of Lehi's family had been as faithful as Lehi, Sariah, and Nephi were, would they have arrived in the promised land quicker?  Would they have traveled directly to the promised land without interruption or struggle?  Would there have been broken bows, and struggles with hunger, and experiences of death and mourning?

These are simple questions, and perhaps not incredibly insightful, but I realized that I had always just assumed that what Alma meant was that Lehi's party would have made it to the promised land quicker under such circumstances.  And that well may be the case.  Perhaps it would only have taken 3 years or 5 years to make the journey.  But I realized that perhaps it was not exactly what I had thought.  I had assumed that Nephi would have made it there in a year or at the most two if everyone had been just like him.  But as I asked myself these simple questions, I began to realize that perhaps my understanding of those events had not been exactly right.

I am confident that bows would still have broken.  The party still would have experience hunger, thirst, and fatigue.  They still would have gone through the death of Ishmael and perhaps others that we don't know of.  They still might have run into the heavy storm upon the ocean.  For righteousness is not a guarantee of tranquil waters and smooth sailing.  It is not a guarantee that we will be free of stressful times and difficult challenges and sorrows.  It isn't even a guarantee of a direct course through life with no twists and turns.  What righteousness does guarantee to us, however, is that when these twists, turns, storms, and sorrows arise that we will be able to navigate them with a continued faith and hope.  Righteousness does guarantee us that as we approach these challenges, we will continue to have the Lord's spirit to guide us and direct us through the midst of our personal perils.

It is important for us to understand this because in our own lives, as we come to our own personal twists, turns, storms, and sorrows, we might be tempted to conclude that these things are the result of our own personal failings.  Certainly prolonged and unrepentant sin will cause us to deviate from the paths that the Lord has marked out for us.  And so certainly we must each ask the question "Lord, is it I?" as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has so powerfully taught us.  Of course there are areas where we are falling short and need to repent.  Lehi had them (see 1 Nephi 16), Nephi had them (see 2 Nephi 4), and all of us will have them.  We need to identify these failings and then repent quickly.  But we must also be cautious not to automatically assume when we have challenges in our lives that they are the direct result of own failings and shortcomings, as though God was waiting anxiously to punish us for the smallest mistake.  If we are striving to follow the Lord, to hearken to His counsel, and to quickly repent of our sins, then our trials and challenges will most likely be the result of God's love for us and His desire to help us grow.  Rather than moments of divine judgment, these are moments of Divine love that give us the opportunity to exercise faith in greater degrees than we have managed up to that point.

Only the Lord knows if Lehi's party could have or should have made it to the promised land more quickly than 8 years.  And only the Lord knows if our own delays as we journey to our personal promised lands are result of personal failings or if they are actually a part of the course that He mapped out for us.  But I believe that we can trust and hope that if we are striving to follow Him, He will not let us languish in the deserts of life, but will bring us safely home as quickly and as directly as we need to come and as He sees fit.

Brett

I Would Have Retraced My Steps

I am working to finish up a paper for a book that is scheduled to be published in the near future.  It basically an expansion of my paper on the interactions of American Saints with the British urban environment and the corresponding interactions of British Saints with the American environment.  In order to expand the paper and add some depth to it, I have had to do some additional research into missionary letters and diaries as well as pioneer letters and diaries.

One of the letters that stood out to me was from a British brother by the name of Edward Tolton who wrote to a family member about his experiences in emigrating from Liverpool to Nauvoo in 1842.  Tolton wrote:

"We set sail from Liverpool to America on the Medford, a sailing vessel, Sept. 15th, 1842, and after enduring a siege of seasickness which continued (as regards myself) for four or five weeks, we anchored in the port of New Orleans, the first day of November 1841.  Had any other feelings than those of despondency and dread for the perils of the sea which pervaded my breast at this time, predominated over my will, I evidently would have retraced my steps.  However, considering these drawbacks, a very enjoyable time was realized the few days we remained in the 'Delta City.'  We then embarked on the Mississippi Steamboat for St. Louis, Missouri and reached our destination about the middle of November.  The weather was, and had been for several days, extremely cold and wintery, and the climate so different from that of my native clime, that had I been in possession of the necessary means, I should have bade the New World a final farewell and sought the 'Green Lanes of Merry England.'" (Edward Tolton to J. F. Tolton, 25 September 1885, MS 409, L. Tom Perry Special Collections, BYU).

This isn't the kind of pioneer narrative that we generally cite.  This letter doesn't end with a happy description of how Edward persevered and arrived in Nauvoo and was blessed for all of his struggles--though he did stay faithful in the Church throughout his life.  But there is something that I find endearing in this letter.  I love this letter's reality.  Brother Tolton wasn't sugar coating his experiences.  The trip across the ocean had been miserable, and when he arrived in America, it just wasn't the same as England (I'm sure that my sister Stephanie will concur).

Amidst all of these challenges, Brother Tolton was strongly tempted to go back home; to return to what was familiar and comfortable and easy.  And so it is for all of us.  Sooner or later, life will confront us with a situation where the challenges seem so daunting that we will be tempted to retreat.  But these are the very moments when our lives and our eternities are defined.  As Elder Holland counseled years ago in a BYU Devotional, "This opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. . . . Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing.  If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now.  Don't give up when the pressure mounts. . . . Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. . . . Face your doubts.  Master your fears.  'Cast not away therefore your confidence.'  Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you" (Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Devotional, 2 March 1999).

Gratefully, Brother Tolton did not retreat to "Merry England," as tempting a prospect as that might have seemed.  He didn't go on to any prominence.  In fact, this letter was the first time I had ever heard of Edward Tolton.  But he stayed with the Kingdom in spite of the strongest temptations to retreat.  Because of that decision, he qualified for the blessings of the temple.  And his family now surely blesses him for his resilience in the face of these trials.

In our moments where we desire to retreat, we can be blessed with a calm assurance that our circumstances and concerns are real.  But then we must draw upon the powers of faith to resist the temptations to return to the old, the familiar, and the comfortable.  We must understand that in these moments, we are forging not only our own eternal destinies, but those of our family.  And then let us stay the course and master our fears.

Brett

To Shine Forth in Darkness

Well this was an exciting week around the Joseph Smith Papers Project.  On Tuesday morning we had a staff meeting at 9:00 am to talk about the release of Revelations and Translations Volume 3: The Printer's Manuscript of the Book of Mormon.  In the meeting, the head of our department announced that the new volumes contained pictures of one of the Prophet's seer stones, which the First Presidency had graciously allowed to be photographed for the volume.

This was a special moment for me, as I had known of the stone and its significance for many years, but obviously had never seen what it looked like.  I never, in my life, expected to see one of the implements that the Prophet Joseph had used during the translation of the Book of Mormon.  At the same time, the picture obviously raised some questions for some members of the Church.  It looked different than some had thought.  It was was smaller than others had imagined.  And of course it raised questions about how it worked and feelings that a stone of revelation seemed a little strange to some.

By no means am I an expert.  I don't know how it worked.  I don't know why the Lord chose to help the Prophet translate the Book of Mormon in this way.  There are probably dozens of questions that could be asked, each of them valid, for which my honest answer would have to be, "I don't know."  But as I pondered these things, I came to one certain conclusion.  No matter how many questions I do not have answers for, I nevertheless know that the Book of Mormon is true and that it was indeed translated by the gift and power of God through the Prophet Joseph Smith.  I know it from hundreds of different experiences throughout my life, each one witnessing to me the truth of that book, the truth of the Prophet's sacred calling, and the truth of the gospel contained within its pages.

Do I have the slightest clue how the seer stone and the urim and thummim worked?  I do not.  Nor do I suspect did anyone other than Joseph--and to a lesser degree Oliver.  Everyone else was merely a spectator, witnessing with their eyes but not understanding with their hearts what was occurring.  But what matters is not the way or the means by which the translation came.  I do not understand how Jesus turned water into wine, used spittle and clay to give sight to a blind man, etc.  I do not understand how Jesus suffered for the pains and sins of all mankind, working out a perfect atonement in the process.  I do not understand how He laid down His own life; and much less how He took it up again the third day.  But my finite and limited understanding does not preclude God's infinite power to do His own work.

What matters is that through those sacred means and on those "days never to be forgotten," there came forth a book whose witness of Christ and teachings of His doctrine, has changed my life forever.  Day after day for 20 years now I have partaken of the truths contained on its pages and have been blessed and lifted to a higher plain.  In the most trying moments of my life, I have turned to its pages in search of answers, and without fail they have come.  Through the pages of this book, I have heard the voice of the Lord.  What matter the questions for which I presently do not have perfect answers?

And so I count myself blessed, grateful, and honored of heaven to have been able to see a picture of this means by which our Father in Heaven wrought the Restoration, and changed my life forever.

Brett