Just Checking In

It's been awhile since I last wrote.  I guess that life has gotten pretty busy.  Since then Ashley and I were married, had the honeymoon, and have been working our way back into regular life together.  Regular life is always a bit of a challenge.  I don't know anyone who enjoys waking up at 5 am and then commuting to work an hour, but it's a blessing to have a job that I love and to be able to work for a wife that I adore.

The sealing at the Provo City Center Temple was absolutely wonderful.  My friend Buddy Richards performed the sealing and it was wonderful.  The reception the night before was a beautiful occasion and afterwards my sister Lynley and Ashley's sister Tevi took us up Provo Canyon, up a dirt road most of the way up South Fork where we found this beautiful spot to take pictures.

Ash and I spent a short but wonderful honeymoon in Park City.  On one of the days we decided to drive up the Mirror Lake Highway.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  It was a little different than the regular stuff to do in Park City (less expensive and fewer people), but it was just a beautiful drive and we had a great time!

All in all, things are wonderful.  For a previously single 35 year old man, marriage has its moments where it is an adjustment.  But as Sister Neill F. Marriott said recently, "Love is making space in your life for someone else."  Nothing could be more rewarding than enjoying the space that Ashley has filled in my life.

Brett

But the Greatest of These is Charity

Today is Father's Day (ok, I'm counting it because it's 11:18 pm the night before, but it's close enough).  It is also the six-month anniversary of my Dad's passing.  I wanted to write a short post for my Dad today.  But before I get to that, I wanted to mention one thing that happened this past week.  On Monday, my Mom hosted a bridal shower for my beautiful Ashley.  It was a beautiful occasion that brought together a lot of the wonderful women in my family.  I was honored to see how many of them had come to celebrate with my Ashley--most of them never having met her before.  And then when the time came for Ashley to open the gifts, both Ashley and I were absolutely overwhelmed by the generosity and love of these amazing women.

Since the shower, others have also generously sent us beautiful items for which we are very grateful.  I confess that the gifts are the thing about marriage that are the hardest for me to accept.  I love each of them, but often feel wholly unworthy of such incredible generosity.  I just wanted to take a minute to say thank you to each of you for the blessing that you are in my life.  Each of you has given me a gift of time, friendship, service, and especially love.  I'm reminded of Paul's phrase, "But the greatest of these is charity" (1 Corinthians 13:13).  It is this gift which each of you has given most readily, and for which I am likely most unworthy.  But please know how very grateful I am for your generous bestowals.

This gift is something that my Dad possessed in enormous quantities.  As I've reflected on my Dad in recent months, my admiration of him has grown immensely.  In many ways, I'm not sure I fully appreciated the enormity of my Dad's greatness while he was alive.  Sadly, this is so often the case with the great ones; it takes their passing for us to grasp just how great a man or woman had walked among us.  It was only at the end of the evening that the two disciples on the Emmaus Road grasped who had walked with them, asking "Did not our heart burn within us while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?" (Luke 24:32)  At the end of his life, Joseph Smith uttered that famous phrase, "You never knew my heart[;] no man knows my hist[ory]."  Because it is never flashy or self-aggrandizing, it often takes time for us to come to a recognition of true greatness. And my Dad was truly great.

I am convinced that above all else, the thing that made my Dad a great man was his ability to love.  Dad learned to love others in a way that many people never achieve.  While most people--like myself--want to love others upon our own terms and conditions, my Dad discovered how to love people on their terms and conditions; loving them in the way that they needed to be loved, rather than loving them in the way that was easiest for him to love.  This gave Dad the ability to reach people from multiple walks of life and to love them.

It is easy to love people that seem to offer us some sort of advantages in exchange for our love.  In other words, it is easy to bestow effusive praise and love on those that we think may be able to help us get places in this world.  But this kind of quid pro quo relationship is not love.  My Dad didn't think in terms of who could get him places in this world.  He thought about who he could reach out to, who he could bless, who he could build.  As a result, Dad placed little value in the titles that we hold so dear in this world.  Whether someone was a doctor, a superintendent, a principal, a secretary, a teacher, or a janitor wasn't what mattered to my Dad.  What mattered to him was that they were people with hopes, dreams, worries, concerns, and potential.  What mattered to him was that they were his friends.  And all of Dad's friends deserved his time, love, and effort.

My Dad was great because he resisted the temptation to let the titles before and the initials after a name define the man or woman, and whether they were worth his attention.  Dad was great because he saw the potential within people as well as their pains, struggles, and present status.  No matter where they were, he believed that they could become great and that he had an obligation to help them achieve that greatness.  Truly, there "abideth faith, hope, and charity; but the greatest of these is charity."

Brett

Sacrifice Brings Forth the Blessings of Heaven

This week's blog is a little disjointed, but we'll see where it goes.  I'm scheduled to speak in my ward on June 26 on the theme of sacrifice.  Being as it is one day before the anniversary of the martyrdom, naturally, I am going to spend at least a little bit of time talking about Joseph Smith, and his example of sacrifice.  So these are just a few ideas, more in terms of helping myself to formulate my thoughts than anything.  How did Joseph Smith exemplify the principle of sacrifice?

1) The Prophet was willing to sacrifice how others thought of him in order to obey the Lord.  Early on in his ministry, the Prophet had an experience where he transgressed a strict commandment of the Lord in order to please his friend; allowing Martin Harris to take the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon manuscript home to show his wife.  The experience was a difficult one.  The young Joseph Smith wanted to help his friend and financier who was being pressured to show that he wasn't wasting his time and money on a useless pursuit.  We all know how that story went.  The Prophet learned a hard lesson as the Lord chastised him, saying, "Behold, you have been entrusted with these things, but how strict were your commandments; and remember also the promises which were made to you, if you did not transgress them.  And behold, how oft you have transgressed the commandment and the laws of God, and have gone on in the persuasions of men.  For behold you should not have feared man more than God.  Although men set at naught the counsels of God, and despise his words--Yet you should have been faithful" (D&C 3:5-8).

Joseph Smith had to learn how to let go of his natural inclination to please those around him whenever that required that he disobey God.  Like the Prophet, each of us has to come to a point where we learn how to sacrifice our desires to be well thought of by our peers in order to follow the commandments of the Lord.

2) The Prophet was willing to sacrifice his own financial well being for the good of the Lord's kingdom.  A few months ago, I wrote about the financial difficulties that the Prophet experienced as a result of his dedication to the Lord's kingdom.  Time and time again, the Prophet put himself in financial peril in order to build the Lord's kingdom.  Furthermore, his generosity with his own funds extended to those around him.  When a number of Nauvoo residents began talking about the plight of a poor brother, whose farm had burned down the previous night, the Prophet was the first to "put his hand in his pocket" and remove five dollars, remarking, "'I feel sorry for this brother to the amount of five dollars; how much do you feel sorry?'" (Andrew Workman, "Recollections of the Prophet Joseph Smith," Juvenile Instructor, 15 October 1892, 27:641).

3) The Prophet sacrificed his life for the Kingdom.  Almost from the beginning of his ministry, The Lord made it clear to the Prophet that the world might "do unto you even as they have done unto me" (D&C 6:30).  He was told, "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them" (D&C 24:8).  The history is clear on this matter: Joseph Smith and Mormonism were lightning rods for enemies and persecution.  Now, to be clear, we managed to bring many of our struggles upon ourselves.  The early Saints weren't perfect, and were, perhaps, not always as kind and loving and inclusive of their neighbors as they ought to have been, but the litany of Joseph Smith's struggles is more than anyone ever earns in this life.  To have your life threatened numerous times, to be arrested on multiple trumped up charges, to be taken away from home and family; and finally to be killed is more than I can imagine.  And yet his was a life lived in crescendo, with the finest teachings and greatest moments coming at the end, evidences of a lifetime of faith in God.

I've, of course, got a lot more to consider, but here is a start.

Brett

Be Still and Know that I am God

Things have gotten quite busy of late.  This past week I put in extra hours finishing a paper for publication, and then immediately had to begin working on another paper for a conference that I am presenting at in early June.  Neither of these papers have anything to do with my dissertation, that really big piece of writing that I still have hanging over my head.  Combined with a full work schedule and, of course, wedding plans, I've found myself quite stressed out of late.

Friday night, my mom and my dear Ashley bore the brunt of my stress, as I chose to stress out over how many invitations we would need to order.  Admittedly, it was not one of my finer moments, despite the patient and loving suggestions from Ash and my Mom.  It was one of those moments where I allowed things that were larger than the question of wedding invitations make me into an unreasonable person who was acting as someone much less than himself.

On Friday night and Saturday morning as I prayed for forgiveness, I also prayed for help to manage my stress.  Help came in thoughts of my wonderful Dad and a phrase that he frequently repeated in times of trial. In times of stress, Dad would often give me a blessing, and he would draw upon the words of the Lord: "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalms 46:10; D&C 101:16).

In such times, this counsel can seem counterproductive.  The problem usually seems to be that we don't have enough time or energy to do everything that needs to be accomplished.  And yet the Lord tells us to "Be still, and know that I am God."  We understand how His command "Peace, be still" is helpful when the sea is raging, but how does it help us when we are stressed? Perhaps we may wonder, "How will being stopping and being still help me when the problem is that I don't have enough time to do everything that is needed?"  And yet, a moment of stillness is exactly what is needed.

To be able to stop, take a deep breath, and say a prayer with faith that He is God will help us to stop working ourselves into a frenzy.  I suspect that I'm not the only one who gets more and more anxious as the responsibilities pile up, and in an effort to accomplish them all, I work myself into a frenzy.  Resultantly I manage to do less and accomplish less.  By stopping for a moment and calling upon the Lord in faith, we can return to our work with renewed faith and calmer hearts, accomplishing far more in such a state than is possible in a state of frenzied anxiety.

As I stopped for a small moment of prayer and faith, I returned to my work with an ability to accomplish more than I had been able to do earlier.  That is always the case.

Brett

Here's My Heart, O Take and Seal It

"Consolator" by Carl Bloch

This was an interesting week. On Monday, I learned that my longtime friend and mentor, Ronald W. Walker, had died after a long battle with cancer.  I had seen Ron just a few weeks ago and he had been anxious about plans for additional articles.  The two of us had planned to meet just a couple of days later to discuss a project that would assist his work.  But the day that we were supposed to meet, Ron wrote to me and informed me that he would have to reschedule, as his health had been bad since we had last met.  We never got to have that rescheduled meeting.

Ron's death was difficult for me for many reasons.  On the one hand, I had known just how bad his health had been for a long time now.  This past year, it was evident that the cancer was taking a serious toll and would eventually take his life.  And so I was happy to see my good friend released from pain and suffering.  But on the other hand, I was losing a man to whom I owe much of my history career.  More than that, I was losing a friend.  Coming as it has on the heels of my Dad's unexpected death, Ron's passing seemed all the more difficult.

On Friday, I attended Ron's funeral.  It was a beautiful occasion and fostered thoughts about Ron, but also a lot of thoughts about my Dad.  The music was most fitting.  Ron's grandchildren sung "Beautiful Savior," a hymn that had also been sung at my Dad's funeral.  His son sung Antonín Dvořák's beautiful hymn "Goin' Home."  And his children sung a lovely rendition of my long time favorite, "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."

I first became acquainted with "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" as a young missionary in Memphis.  I was particularly struck by these words:

O to grace how great a debtor

Daily I'm constrained to be!

Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,

Bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,

Prone to leave the God I love;

Here's my heart, O take and seal it,

Seal it for Thy courts above.

I love this beautiful reminder of my own deep need for the Savior, and of His constant goodness to me.  I came to understand that I am indeed, "prone to wander" and "prone to leave the God I love," as are each of us.  Accordingly, my humble prayer became "Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above," hoping that the Lord, in His goodness, would help me to stay steady and to rise above my own natural imperfections.

The rendition that Ron's children sung at his funeral included the fifth verse, which I had not been aware of, but whose words struck me:

O that day when freed from sinning

I shall see Thy lovely face;

Clothed then in blood washed linen

How I'll sing Thy sovereign grace;

Come, my Lord, no longer tarry,

Take my ransomed soul away;

Send thine angels now to carry

Me to realms of endless day.

These beautiful words were a comfort to me as I pondered the loss of a good friend, and more particularly the loss of my Dad.  Both of them had been among the best of men.  Through their good lives, they had prepared to meet the Lord, and had been ushered through the veil by angels whose faces they knew and immediately recognized.

There is no more important truth for us to grasp, than the truth of the Savior's victory over death.  Sooner or later, each one of us will face a loss, the extent of which will be so great, that it would be impossible for us to deal with it were it not for the Savior.  But because of the Savior's suffering, death, and resurrection, we are blessed with an assurance of future blessings and future reunions with those whose faces we most desire to see.  For this I am eternally grateful.

Brett

A Tower of Strength

My entries have become quite short of late, as time comes at a premium on Sundays, but I had to write a note today for Mother's Day.

I don't have the words to express just how blessed I am by my angel mother!  With my Dad, she has been my greatest supporter and encourager throughout my life and has provided me with a constant example of goodness, grace, and kindness.  In times when I have been less than I ought to have been, it has been the image of my Mother that impelled me to correct my ways and to strive for greater righteousness.  In the moments when I have been weighed down with grief, she has lifted me up.

Early in the morning of December 19, 2016, well before the sun came up, I arrived at my parents' home in Orem to learn that my Dad had unexpectedly passed away.  In those moments of complete shock and grief, my Mom stood resolute and faithful.  Setting aside her own grief and pain, she embraced each of us children, reassured us of the truthfulness of the gospel, and did all within her power to serve and lift us.  All my life I have known that my Mom is a woman of tremendous strength, but in those first days after Dad passed, I saw just how strong she really is.  Over the years Rheumatoid Arthritis has gnarled her hands and fingers, destroyed her knees and elbows, kept her awake at night, and inflicted more pain than I can possibly imagine.  But while her arthritic fingers may not extend as straight as they once did, and while her arthritic back may not allow her to stand as tall, my Mother is just like her father, whose mission president once described him as "a tower of strength."

Thank you Mom for the strength and power you have always demonstrated.  I hope that I have learned well these lessons, so that I might likewise stand strong and tall through all the storms and afflictions of life, passing on your legacy of faith to the next generation!

Brett

Looking for Addresses

I'm sorry that I really haven't had a chance to write much of late.  Sundays tend to be quite busy at the moment.  But Ashley and I are hoping to get addresses from those we love for our wedding invitations.  If you would like an invitation, please follow this link and submit your address.  Even if you can't make it in July, we would love to send you an invitation!

Brett

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/18sSP5pdZ_mQaE9V2gBuCGYA4624FY4LRC1G52aGeuvg/edit?usp=forms_home&ths=true