From Doubt to Faith and From Uncertainty to Firm Conviction

The past week has been wonderful! I am back in Utah and am loving it!  As my Dad and I finished our drive and came into Utah County and I saw Mount Timpanogos I couldn't help but think of the words from an old beloved hymn:

O Zion! dear Zion! land of the free,

Now my own mountain home, unto thee I have come--

All my fond hopes are centered in thee.

I know that Utah isn't for everyone, but for me it will always be my home and my refuge.  And I am loving being back.

Enos, by Ken Corbett

Today I finished reading the book of Enos and I was struck by the message in the last verse.  Enos wrote confidently, "And I soon go to the place of my rest, which is with my Redeemer; for I know that in him I shall rest.  And I rejoice in the day when my mortal shall put on immortality, and shall stand before him; then shall I see his face with pleasure, and he will say unto me: Come unto me, ye blessed, there is a place prepared for you in the mansions of my Father.  Amen." (Enos 1:27).  What struck me about this verse today was the certainty that Enos writes with.  He had no doubt, whatsoever, about the eternal welfare and state of his soul.  

I have read this verse dozens of times before and have always been impressed with it, but I had never considered it in the context of the rest of the short Book of Enos.  If your Sunday School experiences are like mine, whenever we talk about Enos, the focus (probably very justifiably so) is on the first few verses and Enos's "wrestle which [he] had before God, before [he] received a remission of [his] sins" (Enos 1:2).  But we very seldom get to the end of the book of Enos and the portrait of a prophet without doubts and concerns at the end of his life.  As I read this verse today, it struck me that the Book of Enos is a very short narrative of a journey from doubt to faith, from uncertainty to firm conviction.

I told Julianne recently that I wished that Enos had written more, because he has such a wonderful writing style and uses very poetic prose.  But today I realized that the shortness of the book of Enos is actually a great blessing, because it allows us to see a lifelong journey toward absolute certainty and faith in just three short pages.  We seldom get to see this dramatic change in so short an amount of space, but every true disciple in the history of the world has made this journey in their own special way.  In less than thirty years (1818-1844), the Prophet Joseph made this journey from a farm boy whose "mind [became] seriously impressed with regard to the all important concerns for the welfare of [his] immortal soul" and who, through searching the scriptures, had "become convicted of [his] sins" (Joseph Smith, History circa Summer 1832, JSP Histories 1:11, spelling corrected) toward one who could say, "I have a conscience void of offense towards God, and towards all men." (D&C 135:4)  And with the exception of the Lord Jesus Christ, so it has been with every faithful soul who has ever lived upon this earth.  But seldom are such stories told as concisely as Enos tells us his story.  And because of that, there is much to learn from Enos and his journey.  What did he do?

1)  Enos was taught "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Enos 1:1) by a faithful father.  Doubtless there were days when Jacob wondered if the message was getting through to his young son. But in a moment of private contemplation and solemn prayer and pondering, "the words which [Enos] had often heard [his] father speak concerning eternal life, and the joy of the saints, sunk deep into [his] heart" (Enos 1:3) and Enos was filled with a desire to know and to be changed by the message that Jacob had so carefully taught his son.  This "desire to believe" (Alma 32:27) was so very far from the firm and unshaken faith at the end of Enos's life, but it was a sufficient place to start.

2) Enos had faith and he acted.  The Lord would confirm the fact that Enos had exercised great faith in Christ and he had manifested that faith by his actions.  He prayed and pondered and wrestled with his sins and imperfections.  Without those actions, his desires would have ultimately faded and proved vain.

3) Enos heard and accepted the voice of the Lord unto him, and he believed in the granted forgiveness even when he did not fully understand "how...it [was] done" (Enos 1:7).

4) Enos's heart and prayers turned to the welfare of others, including even his enemies.  But he did more than just pray for them.  He worked and preached and served and did all within his power to love them.  As both the Apostle John and the Prophet Mormon explained, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out all fear." (1 John 4:18; Moroni 8:16).  By acting and serving in love, a love that was made possible by his having been made personally clean by the power of the Savior's atonement, Enos was freed from the doubts and fears about his own eternal state and salvation.

There is doubtless much more to Enos's story and to his journey toward absolute faith that we do not know, but perhaps the shortness of his narrative is a blessing because it reminds us that such a journey is really possible.  We really can move from a state of doubts and uncertainty toward a state of firm faith in God's plan for us.  And in a world where nothing seems to be certain, this sure promise is indeed a mighty blessing.

Brett