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| Elder Neal A. Maxwell |
At the time, Elder Maxwell was just completing his first year of intensive treatments for leukemia, a disease which would ultimately claim his life. The word "clinic" had surely taken on a new meaning to him during 1997, as he had gone from a member of the Twelve who had literally circled the globe on various assignments, to one whose life was virtually confined to hospitals, clinics, his home, and a few precious visits to the office to forget about the pain for a few hours. The word clinic surely came to be a synonym for the words "pain" and "cancer." But as he explained above, the word also became a synonym for the words "experience" and "discipleship."
Being a historian by trade, I live and work in a world of theories and ideas, a place where, if I'm not careful, I can begin to view the world in the abstract, losing sight of the underlying realities around me. In fact, in one degree or another, every field or career deals with this challenge. Business students are taught theories and principles of business. Law students are taught theories and principles of law. Teachers are taught theories and principles of teaching. And Doctors are taught theories and principles of medicine. But at some point, practice and effort must replace theory and principle. Nobody wants to be treated by the Doctor who can ace all of the tests, but has no idea how to treat an actual patient. Without clinical experiences, theories and principles are just words on a page lacking any real value.
Like these various professions, we learn the gospel by both theory and practice. The scriptures and the words of the prophet provide us with with the basis and the sound understanding which we need to grasp. But at various points in our lives, we find ourselves enrolled in clinical experiences that ask us to take the principles and lessons off of the pages of the scriptures, and then put them into the practice of our lives. We are asked to pass through experiences that transform the atonement from a wonderful thing that we talk about and read nice quotes about, into a power that we experience in the most profound ways. I believe this is what the Prophet Joseph meant when he declared, "Could we read and comprehend all that has been written from the days of Adam on the relation of man to God and angels in the future state, we should know very little about it. Reading the experience of others, or the revelation given to them, can never give us a comprehensive view of our condition and true relation to God. Knowledge of these things can only be obtained by experience through the ordinances of God set forth for that purpose" (TPJS, 324). There are simply certain revelations that can only be obtained by individual experience. Words on pages do not have the power to convey these things to the hearts and minds of men and women.
These past few months have been clinical experiences for me. For the past three years, I was deeply in love with a wonderful girl whom I would have given anything to marry. For reasons known only to God, it wasn't right and the Lord directed her toward another guy whom she will marry in May. To say that this was difficult for me would be an understatement. I couldn't understand why the Lord would ask me to go through this experience. I couldn't understand why I would be asked to start over, after finally having gotten so close to the blessing that I covet the most, especially after having given every ounce of effort that I had to make it happen. I still have a lot of unanswered questions. I still have days where the experience still hurts me and makes me wonder why. But somehow in all of this, I have come to at least one profound realization. As I have gone through this personal clinical experience, I have come to understand just how real the atonement is and how desperately I need it. The atonement stopped being words on a page and quotes on a handout, and it became the sustaining power that allowed me to survive the most challenging experience of my life. In my need, He has comforted me, has lifted me, has helped me to begin to come to understanding, and slowly but surely He has helped me to begin to heal and to find happiness again.
Compared to many other experiences in life, this experience of mine seems so minor. But for me, it was true suffering and real experience. I don't know all of the reasons why the Lord asks us to suffer. But I do know that at least one of those reasons is because that suffering allows us to begin to understand what He has done for us. It allows us to begin to feel just how real the healing power and lifting grace He offers us truly are. And then, having experienced that grace and healing, we are more qualified to testify of His eternal goodness, even, and especially, in the midst of affliction.
Brett
I appreciate the metaphor of theory/ideas in one's profession to Elder Maxwell's more practical approach, requiring a real-life (clinical) application of these theories. By trade, I, too, live in a world of theories and ideas. My chosen field of English is based on stories and interpretations . . . . fiction, if you will. To find ways to make the immaterial real can sometimes feel impractical, yet how often, to paraphrase Nephi, have I "likened the stories unto myself"? To find elements of truth in fiction is both a tender mercy and a grand adventure wrapped into one.
ReplyDeleteI can appreciate the struggles you've put forth in this post. When you feel as if you've done everything you could in order to effect a good and righteous outcome, yet the blessings still don't appear can be utterly heart-wrenching. We are left with questions, frustrations and even anger. Why? How come? When? I've asked each of these in their turn, many times. Your post encouraged me to stop and consider a different approach -- a clinical application of the principles of faith and perseverance. As Elder Maxwell noted in his address, these are important Gospel principles and we need to make a decision -- a firm decision -- about how we will apply them in our own lives, both in times of rejoicing and in times of trial.
As I took time to listen to Elder Maxwell's CES fireside this morning, I was especially touched by the quotation he shared from C.S. Lewis (another of my favorites). In part, it reads, "There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit." What a humbling idea to consider. How often do I loll about, content to meander through the day in my world of theories and pretty stories, without stopping to really think about how I view the real -- the clinical -- world? Everyone is someone important. Everyone has her or his own trials to go through. Everyone is equally important and beloved in the eyes of our Father in heaven and Savior, Jesus the Christ. Along with your post, this has prompted me to put theories aside in favor of the clinical, to carefully and thoughtfully remember the importance of everyone around me and to try and treat them with the same love and respect that our Father in Heaven and Savior do.
It's a lofty goal, I know, but I believe that in attempting to practice this, I will be able to set aside my own trials and frustrations . . . if but for a small moment . . . and come closer to the person I want to be, the person my Savior knows I can be.
Apologies for the rambling epistle here, but thanks for giving me the opportunity to think through some of the theories in my head.