The Songs I Cannot Sing

My favorite kids in this picture are the two boys who are very clearly not singing, mostly because that was usually me

For the past little while, I have been thinking about a story that President Merrill J. Bateman told in a BYU devotional in 1997.  The devotional, titled "A Faith that Preserves and Strengthens" ended with a touching story about a small girl named Heather.  Heather was born with a rare disease called glutaric acidemia, which attacked her brain's ability to control her muscles, resulting in paralysis.  Heather was "confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, and could only send messages with her eyes."  Her parents worked out a system of communication with her, whereby "a direct gaze and a smile meant yes" and "a blink meant no."  But despite her physical limitations and limited abilities to communicate, Heather's parents realized that she was a very bright child.  They enrolled her in a school for children with special needs, in hopes that perhaps, with some help from a therapist, she could learn to speak.

Throughout her lessons with this teacher, it became clear that Heather went to Primary and took great delight in the singing.  "When the teacher asked Heather if she had a favorite song, the young girl's wide eyes and engaging smile left little doubt."  But being limited to yes and no answers, discovering what that song was provided a challenge.  After singing all of the songs she could think of, the teacher decided to bring her Primary songbook with her the following day and go through the songs, one by one, until Heather was able to share her favorite song.  The following day, the two went through each song in the Primary hymn book, but without success.  Heather returned the next day with the green hymn book in her wheel chair, but no marker on the songs.  So once again, they began with Hymn 1 and sung through the first parts of every hymn until Hymn 227, "There is Sunshine in My Soul Today" at which point Heather's smile made it clear that this was her favorite hymn.  As the two sang the hymn together--the teacher singing the words and Heather joining in with the sounds that she could make, they came to the verse that reads:

There is music in my soul today,

A carol to my King,

And Jesus listening can hear

The songs I cannot sing.

It was clear that these lines were what Heather loved so much about the song.  With the teacher asking questions, and Heather answering with her eyes, the two then had a beautiful conversation about what those words meant to this little girl.  (It is worth reading President Bateman's talk, linked above).

In one way or another, and despite the deepest and profoundest desires of our hearts, all of us have songs we cannot sing for the moment.  We yearn with all of our hearts to be able to do one thing or another.  We give it our best efforts to accomplish those goals, and yet find ourselves not having accomplished them.  For some, perhaps the challenges of obtaining an education elude them.  They watch friends and family who seem to have learning come so easily to them, and wonder why they are not likewise blessed.  Others struggle with one health challenge after another and wonder why others seem to live their whole lives without even so much as a single case of the flu.  Some work hard, live frugally, seek skills to help themselves advance, and yet remain in poverty while others seem to find wealth.  Others, like me, seem to date and date and date being wholly willing to make the commitment of marriage and a family, but still find ourselves waiting while others seem to find love after a search of only a few weeks.

Whatever our particular song is that, for the present, we cannot sing, we can be blessed by a few assurances.  1) Each one of us has unmet desires and songs we cannot sing.  It is so easy to believe the lie that everyone else around us seems to live a life free from challenges and problems.  But this simply is not true.  All of us were sent here to be tested, and none are exempted--nor would any want to be exempted.  2) If you truly knew and could comprehend the challenges of those that seem to have things so good, you would not be anxious to trade your challenges for theirs.  The most visible challenges may, in fact, be the easiest to deal with, because others can see at least a portion of the difficulty that you are experiencing.  3) We can understand that these challenges and trials are temporary.  Temporary may mean that they last with us throughout our lives, but we can be assured that as we have faith in the Lord, there will come a time when they are taken away from us.  4) God judges His children "according to their works, [and] according to the desire of their hearts" (D&C 137:9).  If you have music in your soul, but circumstances do not allow you to sing, you will be blessed for the desires that motivate your heart rather than your limited capacity to perform those desires.  And, perhaps most importantly, 5) "Jesus listening can hear, the songs [you] cannot sing."  God hears the prayers of His children, He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and He knows that our capacities often do not match our deepest desires.  

Heather was limited in so many ways, activities, and skills that this world values.  And yet, she possessed something that many of the most educated and intellectually capable do not possess.  She possessed a vibrant testimony that the Savior knew her, loved her, and would ultimately bless her with the capacity to give voice to those songs that she could not, for the moment, sing.  In the eternal scheme of things, what Heather possessed was so much greater than what she lacked.  And so it is for each one of us.  If, for the moment, there are "songs we cannot sing," let us continue to try.  But more importantly, let us continue to trust that the God of Heaven hears, honors, and delights in those unsung songs.

Brett