The Songs I Cannot Sing

My favorite kids in this picture are the two boys who are very clearly not singing, mostly because that was usually me

For the past little while, I have been thinking about a story that President Merrill J. Bateman told in a BYU devotional in 1997.  The devotional, titled "A Faith that Preserves and Strengthens" ended with a touching story about a small girl named Heather.  Heather was born with a rare disease called glutaric acidemia, which attacked her brain's ability to control her muscles, resulting in paralysis.  Heather was "confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, and could only send messages with her eyes."  Her parents worked out a system of communication with her, whereby "a direct gaze and a smile meant yes" and "a blink meant no."  But despite her physical limitations and limited abilities to communicate, Heather's parents realized that she was a very bright child.  They enrolled her in a school for children with special needs, in hopes that perhaps, with some help from a therapist, she could learn to speak.

Throughout her lessons with this teacher, it became clear that Heather went to Primary and took great delight in the singing.  "When the teacher asked Heather if she had a favorite song, the young girl's wide eyes and engaging smile left little doubt."  But being limited to yes and no answers, discovering what that song was provided a challenge.  After singing all of the songs she could think of, the teacher decided to bring her Primary songbook with her the following day and go through the songs, one by one, until Heather was able to share her favorite song.  The following day, the two went through each song in the Primary hymn book, but without success.  Heather returned the next day with the green hymn book in her wheel chair, but no marker on the songs.  So once again, they began with Hymn 1 and sung through the first parts of every hymn until Hymn 227, "There is Sunshine in My Soul Today" at which point Heather's smile made it clear that this was her favorite hymn.  As the two sang the hymn together--the teacher singing the words and Heather joining in with the sounds that she could make, they came to the verse that reads:

There is music in my soul today,

A carol to my King,

And Jesus listening can hear

The songs I cannot sing.

It was clear that these lines were what Heather loved so much about the song.  With the teacher asking questions, and Heather answering with her eyes, the two then had a beautiful conversation about what those words meant to this little girl.  (It is worth reading President Bateman's talk, linked above).

In one way or another, and despite the deepest and profoundest desires of our hearts, all of us have songs we cannot sing for the moment.  We yearn with all of our hearts to be able to do one thing or another.  We give it our best efforts to accomplish those goals, and yet find ourselves not having accomplished them.  For some, perhaps the challenges of obtaining an education elude them.  They watch friends and family who seem to have learning come so easily to them, and wonder why they are not likewise blessed.  Others struggle with one health challenge after another and wonder why others seem to live their whole lives without even so much as a single case of the flu.  Some work hard, live frugally, seek skills to help themselves advance, and yet remain in poverty while others seem to find wealth.  Others, like me, seem to date and date and date being wholly willing to make the commitment of marriage and a family, but still find ourselves waiting while others seem to find love after a search of only a few weeks.

Whatever our particular song is that, for the present, we cannot sing, we can be blessed by a few assurances.  1) Each one of us has unmet desires and songs we cannot sing.  It is so easy to believe the lie that everyone else around us seems to live a life free from challenges and problems.  But this simply is not true.  All of us were sent here to be tested, and none are exempted--nor would any want to be exempted.  2) If you truly knew and could comprehend the challenges of those that seem to have things so good, you would not be anxious to trade your challenges for theirs.  The most visible challenges may, in fact, be the easiest to deal with, because others can see at least a portion of the difficulty that you are experiencing.  3) We can understand that these challenges and trials are temporary.  Temporary may mean that they last with us throughout our lives, but we can be assured that as we have faith in the Lord, there will come a time when they are taken away from us.  4) God judges His children "according to their works, [and] according to the desire of their hearts" (D&C 137:9).  If you have music in your soul, but circumstances do not allow you to sing, you will be blessed for the desires that motivate your heart rather than your limited capacity to perform those desires.  And, perhaps most importantly, 5) "Jesus listening can hear, the songs [you] cannot sing."  God hears the prayers of His children, He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and He knows that our capacities often do not match our deepest desires.  

Heather was limited in so many ways, activities, and skills that this world values.  And yet, she possessed something that many of the most educated and intellectually capable do not possess.  She possessed a vibrant testimony that the Savior knew her, loved her, and would ultimately bless her with the capacity to give voice to those songs that she could not, for the moment, sing.  In the eternal scheme of things, what Heather possessed was so much greater than what she lacked.  And so it is for each one of us.  If, for the moment, there are "songs we cannot sing," let us continue to try.  But more importantly, let us continue to trust that the God of Heaven hears, honors, and delights in those unsung songs.

Brett

A Place of Refuge

On Thursday as I was going into work, I happened to glance across the street toward the Temple and this was the image that I saw.  I was deeply impressed by the lighting of the rising sun upon the House of the Lord.  Scenes like this one are one of the few advantages to being awake by 5:30 am and at work by 7:00 am.

In sharing this picture with my sister Lynley, I told her that I wished I had been able to get a picture without the street light and the cars and everything else in it, but all I had time to do was snap a quick shot in hopes that it would do some justice to the beauty of the moment.  Lynley responded that she liked the street light and the cars because the picture "shows the contrast between the busy city and the light and peace of the temple."  I hadn't thought of it that way, but she was exactly right.

Sometimes we want the perfect photo, the one that has all beauty and no busyness; all Temple and no city traffic.  And indeed, that is what we hope for in eternity.  We yearn for that prophesied day wherein, we shall say, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away" (Revelation 21:3-4).  This is a wonderful hope, and something that we ought to look forward to.

But even as we hope for that prophesied of day, we must also recognize that it is not the world that we live in today.  The world that we live in today includes streetlights, cars, busy schedules, disappointments, tears, and even death.  But it is in this reality that the Temple shines the brightest and holds the greatest meaning in our present mortal lives.  The Temple takes on its greatest value not in a vacuum of holiness, but standing as a refuge and a strength in the midst of a world of sin and despair.  Isaiah prophesied of these things, stating, "And the Lord will create upon every dwelling place of mount Zion, and upon her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day, and the shining of a flaming fire by night: for upon all the glory shall be a defense.  And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert from the storm and from rain" (Isaiah 4:5-6).  It is in this imperfect, mortal setting that I feel my greatest gratitude for the House of the Lord.

Brett

Blessed Honored Pioneers

This is one of my favorite weeks of the year.  Growing up, I remember spending Pioneer Day with of the Haycocks up at my Nana and Papa's house.  As a boy, I was excited to see my cousins and I was always excited for the food that inevitably accompanied such a meeting.  I remember it being a day that my Papa Haycock in particular just loved.  As I've gotten older, I've come to understand why my Papa Haycock loved that day so much.  He loved it because of what it represented and the people that we honored upon that day.

One of the wonderful things that the Church has done in Church History is to compile the Mormon Pioneer Overland Travel Database which provides lists of people in the various pioneer companies, as well as transcripts of diaries, letters, and autobiographies that give us information about those various pioneer companies.  Family Search has taken advantage of this very cool database, and created an application that links our family trees with the people listed in the database.  This application allows us to learn which of our ancestors were a part of pioneer trek, and provides information about what companies they travelled in, who they travelled with, and what diaries, letters, etc. mentioned those ancestors.

Anyhow, if you are looking for something fun to do this week, try these websites out and see what you can learn about your ancestors.  Sorry for the short entry.

Brett

To the Souls of All Those Who Partake

With a new calling that uses up more time on Sundays, my entries will probably be a lot shorter these days.

Last week in Elder's Quorum, as a part of the lesson, we read through the Sacrament prayers and were asked to talk about them and what they mean.  A phrase stood out to me that I haven't payed much attention to before.  We pray that the Father will "bless and sanctify this bread [or water] to the souls of all those who partake [or drink] of it."  (D&C 20:77, 79).  I began to ask myself, what does it mean to sanctify those emblems "to the soul".  Clearly we are blessing the emblems that those who partake of them may be renewed in a covenantal way.  But I wonder if there is more there than I have understood.

The word sanctify comes from the Latin "sanctifico," meaning "to make holy."  The Hebrew word that is translated as sanctify is "qadash," meaning "to consecrate."  The Greek "hagiazó" combines the meaning of the Latin and Hebrew terms.  While I really appreciate the definition "to make holy," holiness can be a vague concept to understand.  And so I love the definition of consecration here.  We pray that the Father will "consecrate" the bread or the water "to the souls of all those who partake [or drink] of it."  In other words, we ask Him to set those emblems apart for a special purpose, and that purpose being for the benefit of our souls.

But even as we ask the Father to consecrate the bread and water to our souls, we ought to simultaneously pray that we might, through the grace and mercy of His son, consecrate our own souls  to Him.  As we covenant to take the name of His Son upon us, to always remember Him, and to keep the commandments which He has given us, we consecrate ourselves to the building of His Kingdom. We consecrate our lives to being worthy to bear the name of the Son of God, the only "name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God" (2 Ne 31:21).  Those emblems blessed to our souls, can thereby begin to serve as reminders that, having taken upon us the name of the Son, we ought not to take that name in vain.

These are things that I readily admit I have not spent as much time considering and pondering as I ought to have done.  But today my hope is that those emblems will truly be blessed and sanctified to my soul, not only today but throughout the rest of this week.

Brett

Loving Where You Are

El Paso, Texas

Happy fourth of July to everyone!  I hope you all had a wonderful time with family and friends!

Last week my sister Stephanie made a comment to me that has stuck with me.  She reminded me of a saying that "Everywhere you go is someone's hometown, so be kind."  The reason this impressed me is that Stephanie lives this saying so well.  Throughout the last 20 years, Stephanie has lived in Indiana, Pennsylvania (that is actually the city's name); Taylorsville, Murray, West Jordan (all in Utah); for a few weeks in London, England; Peachtree City, Georgia; Montgomery, Alabama; and now El Paso, Texas.

Other than London, I'm sure that none of these locations were foremost on Steph's list of places to live in at some point during her life.  Indiana, PA, where Steph did her doctoral work, was a small college town far away from home, and the first couple of years she lived there without a car.  Without family around her, she had to rely on the members of her small branch and her friends and colleagues in graduate school.  I'm pretty sure there were people murdered in or near the apartment complex that she lived in in Taylorsville.  Murray and West Jordan were much nicer, but probably still had their share of problems.  Peachtree City was a beautiful little city filled with golf carts, but no family other than her husband John.  Similarly, Montgomery, Alabama was far away from home, has terrible humidity, and its fair share of ghetto away from the Air Force Base.  And El Paso is a desert that I know most Texans refuse to claim.

In short, all of these places have had their challenges and downsides.  But one of the things that I love about my sister is that she finds people and places of beauty wherever she goes.  In Pennsylvania, she found lifelong friends and spots that she couldn't wait to share with her family when we visited.  In Taylorsville, she got involved in classes and other things that brought some joy into otherwise difficult circumstances.  In Murray and West Jordan, she kept going, kept dating, kept hoping for blessing, and kept active in the Church and the rest of life until she found her good husband.  And then she stayed patient through the challenges of a long distance relationship, when it may have seemed easier to give up at times.  When I visited her and her husband in Georgia, she showed me around her little city with the same enthusiasm with which she is going to show me London next year.  Whether it was the markets or the lake or the wooded areas and beautiful homes around the lake, she loved it and she treated it as a wonderful place that, for that moment, was her home.  Similarly in both Alabama and Texas, she has found little places of beauty where she can go hiking or get involved to make the world around her a better place.

So often in our lives, "the course of human events" brings us to places and moments that we may not entirely love.  We may find ourselves living in a ghetto apartment on Redwood Road in Salt Lake City.  Or, perhaps we may be living in the most beautiful city we've ever seen, but the surrounding events of our lives leave us feeling lost and alone and hoping for better and more beautiful days.  In "all these things" (D&C 122:7) we will find and see whatever we look for.  We can find despair in the most blessed of circumstances if that is what we are looking for.  Or, we can find beauty in the most destitute of circumstances if we will look for it.  So much depends upon the decision that we make within our hearts as to what we will see.  I hope that I will do a better job of following my sister's example, because no matter where she has been, she has found beauty and blessings.  May we all do likewise.

Brett

In Humble Submission

Yesterday was the 171st anniversary of the martyrdom of the Prophet Joseph Smith.  My time working on the Joseph Smith Papers thus far has expanded my appreciation for the Prophet Joseph Smith.  One thing that constantly amazes me about the Prophet is his willingness to test those around him.  This week I happened upon some letters between Brigham and Mary Ann Angell Young in 1839-1840 in the George W. Thatcher Blair Collection that contained a couple of insights into the Prophet and those two loyal followers.  We all know that Brigham served a mission to England between 1839-1841.  And I was well aware of the challenging circumstances that Mary A. had faced during his absence--an example of which I will cite at the end.  What I was completely unaware of were some details of Brigham's journey between Nauvoo and New York City, and a request that he made of Mary A. during that time.

En route to New York City where the Twelve sailed for England, Elders Young, Kimball, Taylor, and George A. Smith travelled through their former home of Kirtland, Ohio.  Upon arriving in Kirtland, many of the brethren were so ill that some of the disaffected members who had remained in Kirtland believed it was the curse of God upon the Saints for the Kirtland Safety Society.  (Please note that not all of the members in Kirtland were disaffected; some simply hadn't had the funds with which to continue traveling with the Saints).  But despite their illnesses, the Twelve held meetings in the Kirtland Temple and organized a variety of missionary efforts in the city.

While in Kirtland, Brigham Young visited many of the Saints, including Mary A.'s father.  While the details are unclear, it is likely that Brigham explained the impoverished circumstances of his family and the Saints at Nauvoo.  Further, the significant health challenges the Saints were suffering would likely have been evident.  In any case, Brother Angell suggested that while Brigham was in England, Mary A. and the children come to Kirtland and live with him.  Brigham thought that the idea was a good one, and urged Mary A. to consider it.  He even thought that if she went to Kirtland, he might be able to visit her and the children again, before his departure for England.  He could then have left for England secure in the knowledge that his wife and children were being properly cared for and protected.

Mary A. strongly considered the idea and was even preparing to go to Kirtland, when Hyrum Smith advised her not to go.  By this time, Hyrum was a member of the First Presidency.  Learning of Hyrum's advice, Brigham was disappointed, but replied, "I can say the will of the Lord be done.  I hope and trust that I shall never feel to rebel or go contrary to the counsel of the spirit of the Lord as to your going to the Ohio.  I have told you how I felt about it.  I wish you to do the will of the Lord, therefore I shall not say any thing with regard to advice.  Do as you think best.  I wish to do right and keep humble for there is slippery paths that Elders travel in in this Church.  I think it would be better for me to be in humble submission to the powers that be and to [adhere] to counsel, even if it costs me much labor; may the Lord keep us humble and faithful" (Brigham Young to Mary Ann Angell Young, 14 February 1840).

Mary A. apparently took the matter to the Prophet, who confirmed Hyrum's counsel, stating that it was "not the will of the Lord" for her to go to Kirtland, and she humbly submitted to this difficult counsel.  She then noted that in that conversation with the Prophet, Joseph asked "if you [Brigham] was not a going to return before you went to England."  She responded that she did not know, but expected that Brigham would not.  She wrote, "he smiled and said no more" (Mary Ann Angell Young to Brigham Young, 21 March 1840).

For Mary A.'s part, she remained in Nauvoo (actually Montrose Iowa), watching her six children by herself and often times struggling with illness and having so little food that she would have to row across the Mississippi river to go to Nauvoo where she asked for a few potatoes from the Tithing Office.  Then, submissively, she quietly returned to her children with the meager provisions, never writing a word of the matter to Brigham.  Among the children that she cared for alone during that trying period was Brigham Young Jr., who would serve faithfully as an Apostle for many years.  For Brigham's part, he submissively went onto England, staying nearly a full year longer than he had anticipated staying, and there established the foundations of the Church in Britain from which so many members now claim heritage.  And we all know the story of his time after 1844.  But before either of these things happened, there was a simple act of submission about a simple matter of where to live.

For so many members, that issue would have been "none of Joseph's business."  But for Brigham and Mary Ann Angell Young, the question of whether or not she should go to Kirtland in 1840 was a matter of tremendous importance, because it was a test of whether or not they could submit to the direction of the Lord's anointed servant.  I am impressed by Joseph's reaction to the news that Brigham likely wouldn't visit Mary A. again before departing for England.  It was just a simple smile.  But if I can take some historical liberties, that smile says everything to me.  It tells me that with that small response, Joseph knew what kind of a man and follower he had in Brigham Young.  And by the Spring of 1840, to have found someone who would submit and follow in such a small thing, was incredibly important to Joseph, for he had lost friends and leaders who could not similarly submit.

May we likewise learn to be in humble submission.

Brett

The Best is Yet to Be

This is just a short entry today.  First off, happy father's day to all of the fathers out there, and most especially to my own saintly father.  I've never known a mortal man who sacrifices more of self for those he loves than does my dad.  He is a constant example for me to follow, and I hope one day to be able to be just like him.

This last Thursday, I stopped off at the Draper Temple on my way home from work.  Draper is a good Temple to stop off at because Traverse Mountain Road is right next to it, which is a good alternative to the current nightmare that Point of the Mountain is.  But that is beside the point.  While I was at the Temple and as I left, I kept having a line from Robert Browning's poem "Rabbi Ben Ezra" come to my mind.  That famous poem begins, "Grow old along with me!  The best is yet to be."

The line that stood out to me was "The best is yet to be."  Life has a way at times of knocking us down.  Certain experiences can cause us to believe the falsehood that our best days are behind us, and that the future will never be able to measure up to the past.  But for each and every one of us, this is a lie.  The comforting and eternal truth is that "The best is yet to be."  We have so much to look forward to, so much to hope for, so much to live for!  Ultimately, this is the message of the Holy Temple.  Those beautiful buildings themselves, and, more importantly, the sacred ordinances within them declare to us that "The best is yet to be!"

So that is my simple message today.  The best is yet to be!  So live for it, pray for it, hope for it, and never stop looking forward to it!  Whoever you are, and whatever joys or sorrows the past may have held for you, the best is yet to be for the simple reason that our Heavenly Father gave His perfect Son.  And through His sufferings and atonement, that perfect Son has become our High Priest of Good Things to Come.  And that is the greatest gift that any father has ever bestowed upon any child.

Brett