There Shall Be A Record Kept Among You

Just a short post today.  This morning as I was trying to stave off a cold with some additional sleep, I began thinking about journals and the other records we keep.  I must confess that although I write in my journal every day, I'm not a very good journal keeper.  By that I mean that my journal entries consist principally of my thoughts as I read the scriptures, but don't include a lot of information about my personal life and the things that happen to me.  While I believe those thoughts are valuable, I'm not sure that a future reader would get a very thorough picture of me by reading them.  This is something that I need to remedy in the coming days.

These omissions lead me to wonder why I don't write more about my life in my journals.  Generally I suppose I don't write things because I don't think they are worth being written.  Information about my day or where I went or what I did, just doesn't seem interesting.  And yet when I read through old journals I constantly find those small little details to be useful, and even wish that people had written more of them.  The things that people felt didn't need to be written are frequently the things that I wish had been written.

None of us lives a life of constant interest or excitement.  Most of our days are dominated by the ordinary and unexciting.  But it is in ordinary and regular discipleship that we find our greatest joy.  Indeed, as I have spent time going through journals and letters, I find myself inspired most frequently by the ordinary and habitual acts of discipleship, as well as the imperfections that accompany such devotion.  In keeping such records, we obey the commandment of the Lord, given on the first day of the Church's organization.  He commanded the Saints, "Behold, there shall be a record kept among you."  (D&C 21:1)

President Spencer W. Kimball gave us wonderful counsel regarding this commandment.  In the October 1975 New Era he wrote, "How happy we are as we find our grandparents' journals and follow them through their trials and joys and gain for our own lives much from the experiences and faith and courage of our ancestors.  Accordingly, we urge our . . . people to begin today to write and keep records of all the important things in their own lives and also the lives of their antecedents in the event that their parents should fail to record all the important incidents in their own lives.  Your own private journal should record the way you face up to challenges that beset you.  Do not suppose life changes so much that your experiences will not be interesting to your posterity.  Experiences of work, relations with people, and an awareness of the rightness and wrongness of actions will always be relevant. . . . No one is commonplace, and I doubt if you can ever read a biography from which you cannot learn something from the difficulties overcome and the struggles made to succeed.  These are the measuring rods for the progress of humanity. . . . Your own journal, like most others, will tell of problems as old as the world and how you dealt with them. . . . Your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully.  You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life.  There may be a flash of illumination here and a story of faithfulness there; you should truthfully record your real self and not what other people may see in you. . . . Some of what you write may be humdrum dates and places, but there will also be rich passages that will be quoted by your posterity."

The more I find from my ancestors and others that I study, the more I am grateful for the time they took to write.  May we likewise bless those who will come after us with a record of our lives and testimonies.  Whether we have children of our own or whether we presently lack that blessing, these records will become a blessing to someone and to the Church to which we belong if we will be faithful to this commandment.

Brett

A Direct Course

This past week has been an interesting one.  Schools have started back up for kids.  TCU started last week.  UVU starts tomorrow and BYU the following week.  But other than my dissertation work--which never stops--being technically connected to a school year, nothing has changed for me.  I am not teaching any classes and I am not taking any classes.  It's a unique feeling after so many years of studies.  And yet it is really good.  This past week was highlighted by some important discoveries for work.

As I was studying my scriptures this past week, I came across Alma's wonderful words about the Liahona to his son Helaman in Alma 37.  Alma informed his son that the Liahona "did work for them according to their faith in God; therefore, if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold, it was done; therefore they had this miracle, and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God, day by day.  Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works.  They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey; Therefore, they tarried in the wilderness, or did not travel a direct course, and were afflicted with hunger and thirst, because of their transgressions" (Alma 37:40-42).

As I read these words, I began asking myself a question.  If Laman and Lemuel and the rest of Lehi's family had been as faithful as Lehi, Sariah, and Nephi were, would they have arrived in the promised land quicker?  Would they have traveled directly to the promised land without interruption or struggle?  Would there have been broken bows, and struggles with hunger, and experiences of death and mourning?

These are simple questions, and perhaps not incredibly insightful, but I realized that I had always just assumed that what Alma meant was that Lehi's party would have made it to the promised land quicker under such circumstances.  And that well may be the case.  Perhaps it would only have taken 3 years or 5 years to make the journey.  But I realized that perhaps it was not exactly what I had thought.  I had assumed that Nephi would have made it there in a year or at the most two if everyone had been just like him.  But as I asked myself these simple questions, I began to realize that perhaps my understanding of those events had not been exactly right.

I am confident that bows would still have broken.  The party still would have experience hunger, thirst, and fatigue.  They still would have gone through the death of Ishmael and perhaps others that we don't know of.  They still might have run into the heavy storm upon the ocean.  For righteousness is not a guarantee of tranquil waters and smooth sailing.  It is not a guarantee that we will be free of stressful times and difficult challenges and sorrows.  It isn't even a guarantee of a direct course through life with no twists and turns.  What righteousness does guarantee to us, however, is that when these twists, turns, storms, and sorrows arise that we will be able to navigate them with a continued faith and hope.  Righteousness does guarantee us that as we approach these challenges, we will continue to have the Lord's spirit to guide us and direct us through the midst of our personal perils.

It is important for us to understand this because in our own lives, as we come to our own personal twists, turns, storms, and sorrows, we might be tempted to conclude that these things are the result of our own personal failings.  Certainly prolonged and unrepentant sin will cause us to deviate from the paths that the Lord has marked out for us.  And so certainly we must each ask the question "Lord, is it I?" as President Dieter F. Uchtdorf has so powerfully taught us.  Of course there are areas where we are falling short and need to repent.  Lehi had them (see 1 Nephi 16), Nephi had them (see 2 Nephi 4), and all of us will have them.  We need to identify these failings and then repent quickly.  But we must also be cautious not to automatically assume when we have challenges in our lives that they are the direct result of own failings and shortcomings, as though God was waiting anxiously to punish us for the smallest mistake.  If we are striving to follow the Lord, to hearken to His counsel, and to quickly repent of our sins, then our trials and challenges will most likely be the result of God's love for us and His desire to help us grow.  Rather than moments of divine judgment, these are moments of Divine love that give us the opportunity to exercise faith in greater degrees than we have managed up to that point.

Only the Lord knows if Lehi's party could have or should have made it to the promised land more quickly than 8 years.  And only the Lord knows if our own delays as we journey to our personal promised lands are result of personal failings or if they are actually a part of the course that He mapped out for us.  But I believe that we can trust and hope that if we are striving to follow Him, He will not let us languish in the deserts of life, but will bring us safely home as quickly and as directly as we need to come and as He sees fit.

Brett

I Would Have Retraced My Steps

I am working to finish up a paper for a book that is scheduled to be published in the near future.  It basically an expansion of my paper on the interactions of American Saints with the British urban environment and the corresponding interactions of British Saints with the American environment.  In order to expand the paper and add some depth to it, I have had to do some additional research into missionary letters and diaries as well as pioneer letters and diaries.

One of the letters that stood out to me was from a British brother by the name of Edward Tolton who wrote to a family member about his experiences in emigrating from Liverpool to Nauvoo in 1842.  Tolton wrote:

"We set sail from Liverpool to America on the Medford, a sailing vessel, Sept. 15th, 1842, and after enduring a siege of seasickness which continued (as regards myself) for four or five weeks, we anchored in the port of New Orleans, the first day of November 1841.  Had any other feelings than those of despondency and dread for the perils of the sea which pervaded my breast at this time, predominated over my will, I evidently would have retraced my steps.  However, considering these drawbacks, a very enjoyable time was realized the few days we remained in the 'Delta City.'  We then embarked on the Mississippi Steamboat for St. Louis, Missouri and reached our destination about the middle of November.  The weather was, and had been for several days, extremely cold and wintery, and the climate so different from that of my native clime, that had I been in possession of the necessary means, I should have bade the New World a final farewell and sought the 'Green Lanes of Merry England.'" (Edward Tolton to J. F. Tolton, 25 September 1885, MS 409, L. Tom Perry Special Collections, BYU).

This isn't the kind of pioneer narrative that we generally cite.  This letter doesn't end with a happy description of how Edward persevered and arrived in Nauvoo and was blessed for all of his struggles--though he did stay faithful in the Church throughout his life.  But there is something that I find endearing in this letter.  I love this letter's reality.  Brother Tolton wasn't sugar coating his experiences.  The trip across the ocean had been miserable, and when he arrived in America, it just wasn't the same as England (I'm sure that my sister Stephanie will concur).

Amidst all of these challenges, Brother Tolton was strongly tempted to go back home; to return to what was familiar and comfortable and easy.  And so it is for all of us.  Sooner or later, life will confront us with a situation where the challenges seem so daunting that we will be tempted to retreat.  But these are the very moments when our lives and our eternities are defined.  As Elder Holland counseled years ago in a BYU Devotional, "This opposition turns up almost anyplace something good has happened. . . . Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing.  If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now.  Don't give up when the pressure mounts. . . . Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. . . . Face your doubts.  Master your fears.  'Cast not away therefore your confidence.'  Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you" (Jeffrey R. Holland, BYU Devotional, 2 March 1999).

Gratefully, Brother Tolton did not retreat to "Merry England," as tempting a prospect as that might have seemed.  He didn't go on to any prominence.  In fact, this letter was the first time I had ever heard of Edward Tolton.  But he stayed with the Kingdom in spite of the strongest temptations to retreat.  Because of that decision, he qualified for the blessings of the temple.  And his family now surely blesses him for his resilience in the face of these trials.

In our moments where we desire to retreat, we can be blessed with a calm assurance that our circumstances and concerns are real.  But then we must draw upon the powers of faith to resist the temptations to return to the old, the familiar, and the comfortable.  We must understand that in these moments, we are forging not only our own eternal destinies, but those of our family.  And then let us stay the course and master our fears.

Brett

To Shine Forth in Darkness

Well this was an exciting week around the Joseph Smith Papers Project.  On Tuesday morning we had a staff meeting at 9:00 am to talk about the release of Revelations and Translations Volume 3: The Printer's Manuscript of the Book of Mormon.  In the meeting, the head of our department announced that the new volumes contained pictures of one of the Prophet's seer stones, which the First Presidency had graciously allowed to be photographed for the volume.

This was a special moment for me, as I had known of the stone and its significance for many years, but obviously had never seen what it looked like.  I never, in my life, expected to see one of the implements that the Prophet Joseph had used during the translation of the Book of Mormon.  At the same time, the picture obviously raised some questions for some members of the Church.  It looked different than some had thought.  It was was smaller than others had imagined.  And of course it raised questions about how it worked and feelings that a stone of revelation seemed a little strange to some.

By no means am I an expert.  I don't know how it worked.  I don't know why the Lord chose to help the Prophet translate the Book of Mormon in this way.  There are probably dozens of questions that could be asked, each of them valid, for which my honest answer would have to be, "I don't know."  But as I pondered these things, I came to one certain conclusion.  No matter how many questions I do not have answers for, I nevertheless know that the Book of Mormon is true and that it was indeed translated by the gift and power of God through the Prophet Joseph Smith.  I know it from hundreds of different experiences throughout my life, each one witnessing to me the truth of that book, the truth of the Prophet's sacred calling, and the truth of the gospel contained within its pages.

Do I have the slightest clue how the seer stone and the urim and thummim worked?  I do not.  Nor do I suspect did anyone other than Joseph--and to a lesser degree Oliver.  Everyone else was merely a spectator, witnessing with their eyes but not understanding with their hearts what was occurring.  But what matters is not the way or the means by which the translation came.  I do not understand how Jesus turned water into wine, used spittle and clay to give sight to a blind man, etc.  I do not understand how Jesus suffered for the pains and sins of all mankind, working out a perfect atonement in the process.  I do not understand how He laid down His own life; and much less how He took it up again the third day.  But my finite and limited understanding does not preclude God's infinite power to do His own work.

What matters is that through those sacred means and on those "days never to be forgotten," there came forth a book whose witness of Christ and teachings of His doctrine, has changed my life forever.  Day after day for 20 years now I have partaken of the truths contained on its pages and have been blessed and lifted to a higher plain.  In the most trying moments of my life, I have turned to its pages in search of answers, and without fail they have come.  Through the pages of this book, I have heard the voice of the Lord.  What matter the questions for which I presently do not have perfect answers?

And so I count myself blessed, grateful, and honored of heaven to have been able to see a picture of this means by which our Father in Heaven wrought the Restoration, and changed my life forever.

Brett

The Songs I Cannot Sing

My favorite kids in this picture are the two boys who are very clearly not singing, mostly because that was usually me

For the past little while, I have been thinking about a story that President Merrill J. Bateman told in a BYU devotional in 1997.  The devotional, titled "A Faith that Preserves and Strengthens" ended with a touching story about a small girl named Heather.  Heather was born with a rare disease called glutaric acidemia, which attacked her brain's ability to control her muscles, resulting in paralysis.  Heather was "confined to a wheelchair, unable to speak, and could only send messages with her eyes."  Her parents worked out a system of communication with her, whereby "a direct gaze and a smile meant yes" and "a blink meant no."  But despite her physical limitations and limited abilities to communicate, Heather's parents realized that she was a very bright child.  They enrolled her in a school for children with special needs, in hopes that perhaps, with some help from a therapist, she could learn to speak.

Throughout her lessons with this teacher, it became clear that Heather went to Primary and took great delight in the singing.  "When the teacher asked Heather if she had a favorite song, the young girl's wide eyes and engaging smile left little doubt."  But being limited to yes and no answers, discovering what that song was provided a challenge.  After singing all of the songs she could think of, the teacher decided to bring her Primary songbook with her the following day and go through the songs, one by one, until Heather was able to share her favorite song.  The following day, the two went through each song in the Primary hymn book, but without success.  Heather returned the next day with the green hymn book in her wheel chair, but no marker on the songs.  So once again, they began with Hymn 1 and sung through the first parts of every hymn until Hymn 227, "There is Sunshine in My Soul Today" at which point Heather's smile made it clear that this was her favorite hymn.  As the two sang the hymn together--the teacher singing the words and Heather joining in with the sounds that she could make, they came to the verse that reads:

There is music in my soul today,

A carol to my King,

And Jesus listening can hear

The songs I cannot sing.

It was clear that these lines were what Heather loved so much about the song.  With the teacher asking questions, and Heather answering with her eyes, the two then had a beautiful conversation about what those words meant to this little girl.  (It is worth reading President Bateman's talk, linked above).

In one way or another, and despite the deepest and profoundest desires of our hearts, all of us have songs we cannot sing for the moment.  We yearn with all of our hearts to be able to do one thing or another.  We give it our best efforts to accomplish those goals, and yet find ourselves not having accomplished them.  For some, perhaps the challenges of obtaining an education elude them.  They watch friends and family who seem to have learning come so easily to them, and wonder why they are not likewise blessed.  Others struggle with one health challenge after another and wonder why others seem to live their whole lives without even so much as a single case of the flu.  Some work hard, live frugally, seek skills to help themselves advance, and yet remain in poverty while others seem to find wealth.  Others, like me, seem to date and date and date being wholly willing to make the commitment of marriage and a family, but still find ourselves waiting while others seem to find love after a search of only a few weeks.

Whatever our particular song is that, for the present, we cannot sing, we can be blessed by a few assurances.  1) Each one of us has unmet desires and songs we cannot sing.  It is so easy to believe the lie that everyone else around us seems to live a life free from challenges and problems.  But this simply is not true.  All of us were sent here to be tested, and none are exempted--nor would any want to be exempted.  2) If you truly knew and could comprehend the challenges of those that seem to have things so good, you would not be anxious to trade your challenges for theirs.  The most visible challenges may, in fact, be the easiest to deal with, because others can see at least a portion of the difficulty that you are experiencing.  3) We can understand that these challenges and trials are temporary.  Temporary may mean that they last with us throughout our lives, but we can be assured that as we have faith in the Lord, there will come a time when they are taken away from us.  4) God judges His children "according to their works, [and] according to the desire of their hearts" (D&C 137:9).  If you have music in your soul, but circumstances do not allow you to sing, you will be blessed for the desires that motivate your heart rather than your limited capacity to perform those desires.  And, perhaps most importantly, 5) "Jesus listening can hear, the songs [you] cannot sing."  God hears the prayers of His children, He knows the deepest desires of our hearts, and He knows that our capacities often do not match our deepest desires.  

Heather was limited in so many ways, activities, and skills that this world values.  And yet, she possessed something that many of the most educated and intellectually capable do not possess.  She possessed a vibrant testimony that the Savior knew her, loved her, and would ultimately bless her with the capacity to give voice to those songs that she could not, for the moment, sing.  In the eternal scheme of things, what Heather possessed was so much greater than what she lacked.  And so it is for each one of us.  If, for the moment, there are "songs we cannot sing," let us continue to try.  But more importantly, let us continue to trust that the God of Heaven hears, honors, and delights in those unsung songs.

Brett

A Place of Refuge

On Thursday as I was going into work, I happened to glance across the street toward the Temple and this was the image that I saw.  I was deeply impressed by the lighting of the rising sun upon the House of the Lord.  Scenes like this one are one of the few advantages to being awake by 5:30 am and at work by 7:00 am.

In sharing this picture with my sister Lynley, I told her that I wished I had been able to get a picture without the street light and the cars and everything else in it, but all I had time to do was snap a quick shot in hopes that it would do some justice to the beauty of the moment.  Lynley responded that she liked the street light and the cars because the picture "shows the contrast between the busy city and the light and peace of the temple."  I hadn't thought of it that way, but she was exactly right.

Sometimes we want the perfect photo, the one that has all beauty and no busyness; all Temple and no city traffic.  And indeed, that is what we hope for in eternity.  We yearn for that prophesied day wherein, we shall say, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and he will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself shall be with them, and be their God.  And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away" (Revelation 21:3-4).  This is a wonderful hope, and something that we ought to look forward to.

But even as we hope for that prophesied of day, we must also recognize that it is not the world that we live in today.  The world that we live in today includes streetlights, cars, busy schedules, disappointments, tears, and even death.  But it is in this reality that the Temple shines the brightest and holds the greatest meaning in our present mortal lives.  The Temple takes on its greatest value not in a vacuum of holiness, but standing as a refuge and a strength in the midst of a world of sin and despair.  Isaiah prophesied of these things, stating, "And the Lord will create upon every dwelling place of mount Zion, and upon her assemblies, a cloud and smoke by day, and the shining of a flaming fire by night: for upon all the glory shall be a defense.  And there shall be a tabernacle for a shadow in the daytime from the heat, and for a place of refuge, and for a covert from the storm and from rain" (Isaiah 4:5-6).  It is in this imperfect, mortal setting that I feel my greatest gratitude for the House of the Lord.

Brett

Blessed Honored Pioneers

This is one of my favorite weeks of the year.  Growing up, I remember spending Pioneer Day with of the Haycocks up at my Nana and Papa's house.  As a boy, I was excited to see my cousins and I was always excited for the food that inevitably accompanied such a meeting.  I remember it being a day that my Papa Haycock in particular just loved.  As I've gotten older, I've come to understand why my Papa Haycock loved that day so much.  He loved it because of what it represented and the people that we honored upon that day.

One of the wonderful things that the Church has done in Church History is to compile the Mormon Pioneer Overland Travel Database which provides lists of people in the various pioneer companies, as well as transcripts of diaries, letters, and autobiographies that give us information about those various pioneer companies.  Family Search has taken advantage of this very cool database, and created an application that links our family trees with the people listed in the database.  This application allows us to learn which of our ancestors were a part of pioneer trek, and provides information about what companies they travelled in, who they travelled with, and what diaries, letters, etc. mentioned those ancestors.

Anyhow, if you are looking for something fun to do this week, try these websites out and see what you can learn about your ancestors.  Sorry for the short entry.

Brett