When One Door Closes Another Opens

It's been a busy week!  I spent most of the week preparing a presentation for a job interview.  Then on Wednesday I had an all-day job interview (results pending).  Work has been extra busy, but it's a good busy, as I find myself getting to spend time on more and more time on documents that are new and exciting.  I genuinely love what I do.  Getting up at 5:15 every morning isn't easy for me, but I find that I absolutely love each day that I get to spend at work.

Perhaps best of all, most days I get to spend time with the beautiful Ashley Camargo.  I find myself smiling and happy whenever I'm around her--except for the times when I'm preoccupied with other concerns or am nervous and she lovingly puts up with me!  She loves the Lord and she is constantly helping me to become a better person.  So it is a true blessing to be with her!

About a year ago I wrote a post about the opening and closing of doors, where I drew upon President Howard W. Hunter's fantastic talk "The Opening and Closing of Doors".  At the time, I was beginning to see the possibilities of a few doors opening after a year that had seemed to be filled with nothing but closed doors and closed opportunities.  I reflected on a phrase in President Hunter's talk where he said, "Doors close regularly in our lives, and some of those closings cause genuine pain and heartache.  But I do believe that where one such door closes, another opens (and perhaps more than one), with hope and blessings in other areas of our lives that we might not have discovered otherwise."

Looking back, not all of the doors that I was referring to actually proved to be ajar or even unlocked.  And yet, at the time, it was enough just for me to believe in the possibility of other open doors.  Nearly a year later, as I survey the past several months, I can see just how true President Hunter's promise was.  There were indeed open doors, but they were a little further down the hallway.  I just had to keep believing, keep walking, and keep trying.

I trust that the future will yield new closed doors and that those closings will cause some "genuine pain and heartache."  But along with the surety of that fact, I now know with a surety that along with those closed doors, the future will also offer additional corridors, unexpected blessings of incalculable worth, and opportunities that far exceed my own plans and designs.  All I must do is keep believing, keep walking, and keep trying.  Doors will open for me as I do these things.  And doors will open for you as you do these things.

Brett

Finding Healing

Happy Valentine's Day all!  This past week, my cousin Monica sent an email to my family explaining that she would be teaching her young women's class about dealing with the challenge of death this Sunday.  She asked if we could provide her with any insights about how we had dealt with my Dad's sudden death, and how we had found comfort through the gospel.  I thought I would post my response as my post today, some of which I've likely said before.

For me personally, one of the keys to finding comfort after Dad's death went back to some earlier experiences that I had had.  Over the span of my adult life, I have had a few experiences that caused me to turn to the Lord in search of healing.  Struggles getting married, struggles finding employment, the stress of school, etc., all provided me with opportunities to seek for His healing touch in my life.

In trying to understand these experiences, I have spent a lot of time trying to heal.  I have spent several hours meeting with my bishops.  Additionally, I spent a lot of time in the scriptures and in the temple.  And finally, I became very, very engaged in my callings in the ward.  I had been doing all of these things before this happened (though my temple attendance hadn't been as consistent as it should have been), but I'm not sure that my heart was fully there.

Little by little, He completely healed me in these experiences.  More than that, He made me happier than I had ever been before.  In actuality, I was better off because of these experiences than I had ever been before.  I could have given all of the right answers to the questions and I really believe that I had a close relationship with the Savior, but it wasn't close enough.  These experiences made me cultivate that relationship with Him to the point that my testimony changed.  It was no longer just an idea that I knew and had felt confirmation of, I had experienced what it meant to be healed.  It turned out to be one of the greatest things that ever happened to me because it helped me to come unto Christ.


Flash forward to December 19, 2015.  Dad's death was the most shocking and unexpected thing I have ever experienced.  When Rob and I rushed to the house at 2 am, we thought that he had fallen or something and we were rushing to give him a blessing.  We expected to find an ambulance there or to find that Dad had been taken to the hospital.  But when we got there, there was only a police car and the door to the house was open.  Mom and Jeni were sitting on the couch crying and I could see Dad with a blanket over him.  None of it registered and I even asked the police officer what was wrong with him and what we could do, at which point he explained to me that Dad had passed.  I literally had not been able to piece together what had happened (which is essentially my job) even though it should have been so obvious.  It was unthinkable.  


It hurt and continues to hurt.  In one instant, so many things that I had always expected changed.  Dad was not going to physically be present to see me get married; he was not going to get to hold the children I will have; he wasn't going to be there in person to see me receive my doctorate; and on, and on, and on.  All of those things hurt then and are occasionally hurt me now.  Just the other day when I scheduled the Temple, for a moment it stung so deeply.


But, during the previous year, I had learned how perfectly and completely the Savior heals wounds and rectifies life's losses.  Because I had already experienced His healing touch in that powerful way, I knew that I would experience it again.  I knew that if my Dad couldn't be mortally present as a witness at my sealing, that he could be there as one of the onlooking angels.  I had learned that the Lord has a purpose in everything that He does, including and perhaps especially in asking us to undergo the hardest experiences of our lives.  And I knew as the Prophet Joseph had said, "All your losses will be made up to you in the resurrection provided you hold out faithful to the end.  By the vision of the Almighty, I have seen it!"  I knew that somehow the Lord would make this up to me and my family because He's done it before.  I knew that comfort would only be as far away as a heartfelt prayer, a verse of scripture, a trip to the temple, or an act of selfless service.  And not even 2 months after that difficult day, I find myself smiling and I find that the Lord has indeed sent many great compensating blessings in the midst of my grief.  And I'm grateful.


So I guess in response to the question of how do we prepare? We gracefully and even gratefully accept the tragedies in our lives and utilize those experiences the way that the Lord intends us to utilize them: by allowing them to bring us to Him so that we can experience His atonement.  We prepare by learning to trust Him and by learning to let Him heal us from all of our afflictions.  We prepare by allowing the atonement to become real in our lives.

Brett

There is Beauty All Around

Ashley and me on the beach at Torrey Pines State Park

This week has been wonderful.  On Friday, Ashley and I flew down to San Diego to spend the weekend with her parents.  We've had a wonderful time seeing beaches, eating street tacos, and spending time with her parents.  The last time I had been in San Diego was 1990 for the Holiday Bowl with Rob and my cousin Becky and Aunt Marilyn.  So far as I can tell, Ty Detmer hasn't suffered two separated shoulders and BYU hasn't lost 62-14 this time, so it's been kinder to BYU football.

Upon arrival, I had a few realizations.  I realized that I had not seen any ocean since I saw the Atlantic Ocean from the window of my plane flying into New York City in 2009.  I had not seen the Pacific Ocean since returning from a family trip to Hawaii in 1997.  And I had not visited an ocean beach since that same trip, Waikiki being the last one I had been to.  Ashley and I laughed about this a little as we rode to her parents' home.  But it was only when we visited Black's beach in La Jolla later that afternoon that I realized just how much I had missed out on in all those years.  The distinct smell of oceanic waters, the constant tranquility and beauty of waves crashing on the shore, and the feel of sand under your feet.  All of these are such distinctive and wonderful feelings that simply can't be replicated anywhere else.

By nature I'm a bit of a home body.  As a historian there are dozens of places that I would love to visit, but by nature I get a little anxious being away from home.  This has been true of me for as long as I can remember.  The key has always been getting me out the door and onto the new destination, after which I begin to find the beautiful scenes and the wonderful people, and I start to feel at ease--so much so, that it becomes difficult for me to leave.  Some places have taken longer to grow on me than others, but I've never been in a place that I didn't grow to love if I had enough time.  (This of course excludes the Cincinnati airport, where I spent several miserable and anxious hours waiting to get on a plane in May 1999).

Perhaps it is good for us to remember the opening words to the hymn "Love at Home," for indeed "There is beauty all around."  Work and school and church and other duties are all vital and must be attended to.  But from time to time, I believe that God wants us to take a short break and enjoy the beauties of the world He has created for us; be those oceans, mountains, plains, etc.

Furthermore, while being at home is important and it is a blessing to want to be home, sometimes we need to go to different places.  In addition to adding variety and beauty to our lives, going to different places allows us to experience the beauty of coming home and finding that it is even more beautiful and wonderful than we had realized.

I'm grateful for the beauties of this earth and for the opportunities the Lord provides us to see it.

Brett

"This Was Their Finest Hour"

This is just a short post after a day filled with meetings. This past week I was reading in Alma 53 and decided to look up some words that I understood contextually but not exactly.  I've found that I often don't know the precise meaning of words and when I look them up, my understanding of the text grows.  So I pulled up Webster's 1828 dictionary online and proceeded to look up the words valiant, soberness, and stripling.  I was particularly impressed with the definition of the word stripling.  "Stripling, noun [from strip, stripe; primarily a tall slender youth, one that shoots up suddenly.]  A youth in the state of adolescence or just passing from boyhood to manhood; a lad."  The phrase that particularly stood out to me was "one that shoots up suddenly."

In the context of Alma 53, it seemed incredibly illuminating.  The context of the story is, of course, that the sons of the people of Ammon offered to fight in the place of their fathers when Helaman asked their fathers not to break their covenants that they had made.  Hearkening to the call of the prophet, those noble fathers stepped away from their desires to defend their nation with the sword in order to be obedient to the covenants that they had made long ago.  But into their place stepped their young sons who had not ever made a covenant not to fight.  Where their fathers had covenanted that they would not take up their swords--even to the laying down of their lives--their sons covenanted that they would "fight for the liberty of the Nephites" even if it was "unto the laying down of their lives" (Alma 53:17).  And so Mormon referred to them as "stripling soldiers."

It is clear that these boys were basically still adolescents.  They were not trained soldiers.  But the term stripling refers not only to their youth, but also to the fact that they had suddenly shot up to manhood.  In the hour of need, they had risen up and had become the men that their families and their nation needed them to be.  And they had done so by making covenants.  When these boys joined the army, it was not in search of adventure, nor was it with images of glory.  These boys joined the army likely expecting that just as some of the original Anti-Nephi-Lehites had needed to lay down their lives for their covenants, even so some of these boys would lay down their lives for this covenant.  War, for them, was no adventurous thrill.  They understood, as General William Tecumseh Sherman aptly stated, that "all war is hell."  They shot up suddenly, not only in terms of added responsibilities, but also in terms of wisdom, understanding, faith, and consecration beyond their years.

Each of us had moments in our lives when we need to shoot up suddenly, to rise up to the challenges placed before us as did these boys.  When these challenges come, they must and can be met if we will place our faith in the Savior and if we will devote ourselves to the covenants that we have made with Him.  With Sir Winston Churchill, "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if [our families and memories] last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'"

Brett

In Him All Things Hold Together

Happy Sunday!  Today's Sunday brings a lot of snow, several meetings, an opportunity to see my sister Stephanie again, and an opportunity to teach. Due to an unexpected illness, I got to teach Sunday School today.  In all honesty, there are few things that make me happier than to hear that I will need to fill in for a Sunday School teacher who wasn't able to be there.  I don't get to teach very often these days, so any opportunity to teach is a welcome blessing! Today's lesson was on 1 Nephi 8-11, 15.

This is the perfect lesson to teach when you haven't had any notice or time to prepare earlier in the week.  You can't possibly mess Lehi's dream up.  Everyone knows the dream and everyone has insights.  So things went well despite my lack of preparation.

As I was teaching, I had a thought that I had never had about Lehi's dream.  It grew out of years worth of pondering what it was that distinguished the two groups who managed to arrive at the tree.  Of course the first group that arrived at the tree ended up leaving as they looked around and heard the mocking emanating from the Great and Spacious Building.  The second group, on the other hand, paid no attention to the mockers and remained faithfully at the tree.

Years ago it occurred to me that Lehi was an example of what those who remained faithfully at the tree had done after they partook of the fruit.  Whereas those who left began to "cast their eyes about as if they were ashamed" (1 Nephi 8:25) Lehi had "cast [his] eyes around about, that perhaps [he] might discover [his] family" (1 Nephi 8:13).  In other words, both groups began to look around after they had partaken of the fruit.  But while one group looked for validation from the world, the other group looked for others they could bring to the Tree (who in this dream is symbolic of the Savior); and they looked specifically for family.  And so it began to occur to me that the thing that would make the difference was what you are looking for after arriving at the Tree.

But as I taught my lesson today, that thought went a step further.  If the Tree is symbolic of the Savior--the embodiment of the perfect love of our perfect Father--then the fruit is symbolic of the atonement that He wrought, both the tree and the fruit being the love of God.  But unlike an apple or a mango or a pear, the atonement can never be fully enjoyed by a lone individual.  By it's very nature, the atonement is meant to bring disparate people to one.  Of course it brings us to one with God, reconciling us to heaven.  But the atonement also brings us to one with each other, and most powerfully within the family unit.  It is the power of the atonement that activates and validates the sealing keys that bind families forever.  It is the atonement that makes eternal marriages, eternal families, and eternal friendships "coupled with eternal glory" (D&C 130:2) an actual possibility.  In the words of Paul to the Colossians, "all things in him hold together" (Colossians 1:17, Greek Translation), or as the NIV renders the phrase, "in Him all things hold together" (NIV Colossians 1:17).  Foremost among those things that hold together in Christ, are the relationships we cherish and seek to make eternal.

With these thoughts of eternal marriages, eternal families, and eternal friendships in mind, it struck me that it is perfectly understandable why those like Lehi remained at the Tree while others left in search of validation from the world.  When Lehi and the faithful partook of the fruit and Christ's atonement, they did so with a view towards using it to becoming one, not only with God and Christ, but also to become one with those they loved.  Accordingly, they immediately went in search of their loved ones whom they might bring to the tree.  Those who left disenchanted, however, partook of the fruit and then sat around waiting for it to make them happy alone, never realizing that our very doctrine of salvation requires us to be bound to others by Christ.  Our very doctrine of salvation requires relationships.  As such, we must seek for others to bring to Him, "for their salvation is necessary and essential to our salvation. . . that they without us cannot be made perfect--neither can we without [them] be made perfect" (D&C 128:15).  There is no such thing as being exalted alone.

How do we remain at the Tree?  How do we remain at the feet of Christ?  We bring others with us.  We search them out.  We love them.  And we invite them to partake of the fruit of at-one-ment with us, that in Christ, "all things [may] hold together," and do so eternally.

Brett

Fear Not Little Flock

This will just be a short post today.  Things have been incredibly busy of late, and yet there are so many blessings.  I'm blessed to have my faith in God and to have a knowledge of Him and His Beloved Son and of the living Prophets and Apostles that they have called in these latter days.  What a gift this is!  I am blessed to have a wonderful family, where, since before I was born, I have received support, encouragement, and love.  I am blessed with a wonderful Mother on this side of the veil, and a wonderful Father on the other side of the veil! They bless me more than I can say.  I am blessed with an amazing brother and three amazing sisters!  And I am blessed with a beautiful and wonderful girlfriend in Ashley, who has been such a great comfort during these past few weeks!  I could go on and on, but the point is that I am incredibly blessed!  God has been good to me!

This week we began studying the life and teachings of one of the great prophets of this dispensation: Howard W. Hunter.  This noble man served only a few short months as our Prophet, and yet he taught us so much.  Today's lesson reminded me of his incredible capacity as a teacher.  The lesson was on "Jesus Christ--Our Only Way to Hope and Joy" and it included some beautiful counsel that President Hunter had given in a talk at BYU entitled "Fear Not Little Flock."  He drew his message from D&C 6:34, "Therefore, fear not little flock, do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail."

In that talk, President Hunter added these words of comfort: "Please remember this one thing.  If our lives and our faith are centered upon Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong.  On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right."

It is well documented that President Hunter lived no life of ease.  His record of health struggles and other difficulties rivals that of President Spencer W. Kimball.  And yet, he understood that these things are temporary, and if we will found our lives and our faith upon the Son of God, it will be alright in the end.  This coming week, may we all remember this timeless principle, and may we seek for ways to more fully establish our lives on the Rock of our Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.  If we will do this, we will begin to see the sunshine peeking through the shadows, and the rays of hope piercing through life's darkest storms.

Brett

Aloha Oe

Most of those who read this blog are probably already aware that my father, Don Robert Dowdle, passed away in the early morning of December 19, 2015.  It came as a shock to the whole family, as Dad had always appeared to be so healthy.  None of us knew that there was anything wrong until he had been called home.

One of the things I will always remember is the way that Dad taught me when I had done something wrong in my younger years.  As a child, the worst words that I could hear Mom say were that she would have to talk to Dad when he came home.  I was, of course, never afraid of my Dad; but I was afraid of disappointing him.  And even Dad's disappointment was always tempered with heavy dosages of parental love.  No matter how many times I disappointed him with poor choices, Dad simply refused to stop loving me.  He simply refused to give up on helping me to become the man he wanted me to be.  In all this, Dad showed me the way of my Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son.

While others spend their retirement golfing or traveling, Dad spent his retirement playing with and caring for his grandkids.  To be truthful, I wanted him to spend some more time doing those other things.  I wanted him to travel, to do things with close friends, to take up a new hobby, etc.  But I was wrong.  As soon as Dad was gone, I found myself feeling so much gratitude for every second that he had been able to spend with those little ones.  I found myself grateful that he didn't spend time on the golf course or spend more time traveling.  Dad understood what I did not: Relationships matter infinitely more than recreation.  And he spent his time accordingly.

When Dad traveled, he did so for family.  During these last few years, Dad's trips were to places like Peachtree City, Georgia; Montgomery, Alabama; and Fort Worth, Texas--not your usual list of destination travel sites.  But for Dad, these were destinations because they were homes for his children.  Twice a year for three years, I was privileged to spend two days driving either to or from Texas with Dad.  We drove through a lot of small towns and barren locations, and we were always tired at the end of the drive, but the hours were always enjoyable.  The first time we went, I took a lot of CD's and things, expecting that we would listen to a lot of them.  I quickly learned that I didn't really want to listen to them because this was a rare moment where I could just talk with Dad.  What a waste those hours would have been if we had spent them listening to books on CD!  And so we just talked and joked and shared things with each other.  I learned a lot from Dad on those trips.

I miss my Dad a lot.  At times it is still hard for me to accept that he is gone and that there won't be any more trips to and from Texas.  But I am cheered and comforted by the understanding of where he is, what he is doing, and who he is with.  Dad is where I want to be one day.  And he showed me the way to get there--which is to follow the Savior.

Brett