Honorably Holding a Name

A 1992 Christmas photo with the three Davids, each wearing the colors of a team he didn't like

Yesterday, February 25, was an special anniversary for me.  It marked 18 years since the passing of my Papa, David Arthur Haycock.  For a number of reasons, I have always felt a special kinship with Papa, both before and since his passing.  Among the most significant reasons for this special relationship was the fact that I am blessed to carry his first name, David, as my middle name.  Neither of us ever went by the name of David, however.  His father was named David, so he went by Arthur to avoid confusion.  And I had a cousin (shown above) whose first name was David, and besides that I happen to really like my first name and think it suits me quite well (plus I like having the initial in the middle of my name when I present papers and stuff).  But despite the fact that I have never really used the name of David, it has been something of a sacred trust, an treasured inheritance, in my life.  Indeed, it has never been just a name that was bequeathed to me: the name has carried with it a legacy and an identity.

As a boy growing up, I knew Papa as my doting grandfather and the kind of man that made every one of his grandchildren feel like they were his favorite.  When I was a little boy, he learned that I enjoyed receiving mail because it made me feel important, so he would package up the junk mail from his office and send it to me in the big envelopes from the Office of the First Presidency.  I knew as a boy that he had been the secretary to President Kimball, but the importance of that position never transcended his role as a grandfather in my eyes.  Then as I got older, Papa would find out what subjects I enjoyed studying in school and with each visit would provide me with some new book to encourage that interest.  For me he was always Papa, a role that was even more important than being the personal secretary to, and confidant and caretaker of the Lord's Prophet.

Without question, one of the hardest days of my life was February 25, 1994.  Papa was partially paralyzed in the hospital as the result of a post-surgery stroke.  Sensing that he wouldn't be with us much longer, Mom had been in Salt Lake at the hospital, while Dad was at home to take care of us kids.  I was partially awakened around 4 in the morning to the sound of my Dad showering and then leaving the house. Because of the hour, I wasn't fully cognizant of the strangeness of the situation, and I went back to sleep until around 6, when I woke up and went up stairs for breakfast.  I suddenly realized that Dad wasn't there and that things weren't quite right.  My older sisters Jeni and Stephanie were given the unenviable task of informing us that our Papa had died and then convincing us that we still needed to go to school that day.  The rest of that day remains a blur, as do the days following it.  But the one thing that I learned through the viewing and funeral was just how loved and respected my Papa had been.  I have vivid memories of meeting men like President Hinckley and President Monson, whose presence at that funeral I would later appreciate as having been unique.

As an avid student of Church history, I still have days where I regret the fact that at the age of 12, I did not yet fully grasp the importance of my Papa's position within the Church.  I can think of at least a thousand questions that I would give anything to ask him with recorder and notepad in hand.  I would love to have long and detailed interviews with him about his life and experiences for the book that I hope to write one day.  But over the years, I have come to realize that he left for me something much greater than a tit for tat account of the history of the Church in the twentieth century.  He left me a name and a reputation to uphold, as well as a legacy of faith and devotion to God that I hope to uphold.  He left a legacy that in the words of one friend was "'totally unsullied'" and filled with loyalty and commitment "'first...to his beloved companion and children and immediately behind that [to] the servants of the Lord and the great cause over which they presided'" (Church News, March 5, 1994).

At the dedication of the Kirtland Temple, the Prophet Joseph prayed, "We ask thee, Holy Father, to establish the people that shall worship, and honorably hold a name and standing in this thy house, to all generations and for eternity" (D&C 109:24).  I treasure my name and the connection it gives me to Papa.  Through the years, it has been a reminder that I must live higher and be better because of the legacy attached to that name.  Even more importantly, each one of us has taken upon us the name of Jesus Christ.  The legacy and accompanying identity carried by that name invite us to become "heirs of God, and joint heirs with Jesus Christ; if so be that we suffer with him" (Rom 8:17).  There can be nothing more important than striving to bring honor and devotion to that most holy name.  May we ever "honorably hold a name and a standing" in the household of God, being marked and defined by the appellation of Christians, that we may ultimately dwell in God's house and kingdom forever.

Brett

"It was the best of times"

Image from A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens

These past couple of weeks have been interesting for me.  For a number of reasons, I have found this semester to be extremely challenging.  Class assignments have seemed more challenging, the books less interesting, and the papers harder to write.  Added on top of all that, I have never been one who really enjoys being too far from home.  And this semester, the distance between Fort Worth and Orem has felt more like the distance between Johannesburg and Vancouver.  Needless to say, I have felt a lot of reasons to be on my knees asking for help.

This week, help came in the form of a Valentine's Day package from Julianne, and a couple of valentines from my parents and from my niece and nephew.  Each one of them lifted my spirits and helped things feel a little more manageable.

Part of my package from Julianne was a beautiful copy of Charles Dickens' timeless classic, A Tale of Two Cities.  A Tale of Two Cities contains a valuable lesson that began to dawn upon me this week.  Dickens begins the book with the famous line, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us."  In addition to being a nightmarish sentence for strict grammarians who are forced to bite their tongues because it was written by Dickens, this opening sentence holds an important lesson for us about the value and reality of contrasts.  Sometimes we are quite literally presented both the best of times and the worst of times almost simultaneously.  Experiencing such dynamic and dramatic contrasts, we are left to wonder why life must occasionally feel like the most frightening roller coaster ride we have ever experienced.

As I wondered about these contrasts, I was reminded of two visions that the Prophet Joseph Smith had during his first visit to the Hill Cumorah in 1823.  Upon arriving at the place where the plates were buried, Joseph had uncovered the plates and attempted to remove them from the stone box.  Because his motives had not been quite right (he was tempted by the thought of being able to relieve his family's indigent circumstances with the gold), he was unable to remove the plates at that time.  Moroni then appeared to the boy prophet again and explained why he had not be able to remove the plates.  It was after this explanation that Joseph had the two visions that I explained.  Oliver Cowdery later related the following, which he had apparently learned from Joseph:

"At that instant [Joseph] looked to the Lord in prayer, and as he prayed darkness began to disperse from his mind and his soul was lit up as it was the evening before, and he was filled with the Holy Spirit; and again did the Lord manifest his condescension and mercy: the heavens were opened and the glory of the Lord shone round about and rested upon him.  While he thus stood gazing and admiring, the angel said, 'Look!' and as he thus spake he beheld the prince of darkness, surrounded by his innumerable train of associates.  All this passed before him, and the heavenly messenger said, 'All this is shown, the good and the evil, the holy and impure, the glory of God and the power of darkness, that you may know hereafter the two powers and never be influenced or overcome by that wicked one.  Behold, whatever entices and leads to good and to do good, is of God, and whatever does not is of that wicked one: It is he that fills the hearts of men with evil, to walk in darkness and blaspheme God; and you may learn from henceforth, that his ways are to destruction, but the way of holiness is peace and rest.'" (Oliver Cowdery, "Letter VIII," Messenger and Advocate, October 1835, 2:198).

This experience is both curious and instructive.  The Prophet, having been chastised for his early unrighteous effort to secure the plates contrary to the designs of God, had prayed and repented and then been filled with light.  His repentance was so sincere that he had been privileged to behold the glory and goodness of God.  And then, in a moment, his vision had shifted to a view that no one of us envies, namely, a vision of the adversary and his minions and the evil calculations that move and motivate them.  Less than nine years later, Joseph and Sidney Rigdon would experience a similar contrast as they beheld the visions of the degrees of Glory (see D&C 76); and through his translation of the Bible, Joseph learned that both Moses and Enoch had likewise experienced such stark contrasts (see Moses 1, 7).  

Considering all these examples, I must confess that I am prone to ask "Why?".  Why does the Lord let us experience contrasts?  Why do we often experience the best of times, only to then experience the worst of times?  Why must life occasionally feel like a roller coaster?  It is here that Moroni's subsequent instructions to Joseph become valuable to all of us.  We experience contrasts and contradictions in this world, at least in part, because they are powerful teaching tools.  Joseph's vision of the evil designs of the adversary and his followers only made Joseph realize how much more glorious and bright the goodness, condescensions, and mercy of God that he had just experienced truly were.  Funny though it may seem, experiencing times of darkness helps us to appreciate and recognize the light.  Experiencing moments of pain and feelings of misery helps us to understand, rejoice in, and truly appreciate our days of joy and contentment.

And so, while none of us ever truly enjoys those moments when we struggle, we must remember that these two are gifts from a loving Heavenly Father.  There are profound and life-altering revelations to be found within life's contrasts if we are willing to look for them.  And though we will probably not have Moroni for our guide, we are assured that if we are faithful, we will have the Holy Spirit for our divine tutor, which is as good as having Moroni, who spoke by the power of the Holy Ghost (see 2 Nephi 32:3).  With such divine tutoring, I believe that in the final analysis, we will be able to look back upon this mortal experience and conclude, "It was the best of times."

Brett

Prophetic Instructions

This weekend, I was afforded a rare opportunity of spending several hours in Stake Conference meetings with Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.  While I recognize that Stake Conference visits are just visits to specific stakes of Zion, and not messages to the whole world, I wanted to share a couple of things that I learned from this special opportunity, which I believe have value across the board.

First, I was reminded of the importance of the messages we receive from the leaders of the Church.  Of all of the meetings that I was excited to attend, Saturday's two-hour leadership meetings was the most intriguing.  A few years ago I attended such a meeting with Elder Ballard, and found it to be among the most instructive and interesting meetings I have ever attended.  And so that thought of being able to attend this meeting was very exciting.  When I arrived at the Stake Center, it became apparent, that our leadership meeting would consist of watching the Worldwide Leadership Training Meeting.  I was excited to see the broadcast, but I must confess that I felt somewhat let down that it would not be the personalized training meeting I had hoped for.  I quickly realized, however, that this was a unique experience.  In addition to the many wonderful messages that were spoken, I was able to see the amount of value that Elder Cook placed upon the information discussed.  As we were watching the broadcast, Elder Cook sat on the stand and watched it with us.  He then drew upon that broadcast for thoughts and ideas for the rest of the Conference meetings.  It was wonderful to see that even a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recognized the need to listen to and learn from his peers in the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve.  Further, Elder Cook paid close attention to the talks given in the other meetings of the Conference.  At the beginning of each talk, he recapped what each prior speaker had discussed and wove their messages into his talks, thus reminding me of the importance of every message I had received.  I am sure that each speaker felt more than a degree of anxiety in speaking in a meeting presided over by one of the Lord's Special Witnesses.  But what a wonderful thing it must have been to hear that same Apostle praise and draw upon their talks in his own teaching.

Second, I was struck by a short little message that Elder Cook gave during the Adult Session of the Conference.  He encouraged us to stop looking at our assignments and callings in the Church as an opportunity to impress others and to look good.  He asked us to begin asking ourselves, "How can I build faith?" as we taught lessons and gave talks in the Church.  He then assured us that as we prayed and asked to be able to do this, that we would be able to have a profound impact upon the members of the Church.  As one who has too often used talks and lessons as an opportunity to look good, I found this timely reminder to be of great personal value.  Truly, we are "called to serve" and to build others not to be self-serving and to build a resume.

Third, Elder Cook did something that I have never seen a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles do as he spoke today.  He began by discussing some of the ways in which Prophets had been ahead of their time and emphasized things that did not become important for awhile.  He talked about Heber J. Grant's emphasis upon the Word of Wisdom, and said that because President Grant had given so much emphasis to that principle, he was able to see the Latter-day Saints in the Bay Area largely avoid the many tragedies of drugs when drug culture began to sweep through the area during the 1960s and 1970s.  He then talked about President Hinckley's warning of economic troubles in 1998.  But then he did something unexpected and asked what the Prophets have focused upon most recently.  He answered the question by stating that the Prophets have given their highest attention to emphasizing religious observance in the homes and to reaching out to those who are lost.  He emphasized the growing wickedness and secularism in the world, and said that we must protect our families by emphasizing religious practices in our homes and families through family home evening, family scripture study, and family prayer.  Further, he said that now was the time to reach out to those who are lost and gather them back in through the ordinances of the Temple.  He promised that if we would do these things, that we would be able to weather the storms of this world and protect our families.

What impressed me most of all, however, was Elder Cook's special witness of the divinity of our Savior.  He said that since becoming a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, the thing that he had learned with greater depth than he had previously understood was that life was often unfair, which was necessary in order for men and women to have agency, but that the atonement of our Savior was powerful enough to cover and heal all of life's unfair experiences.  I left the four meetings I attended with Elder Cook with an a feeling that the Brethren understood many of the challenges that we face and they know of our many efforts to serve and grow in spite of those challenges.  But even more importantly, I left with an absolute assurance of the fact that the Lord understands all of the challenges we face and that He knows with an absolute certainty of our efforts to grow amidst these challenges.

As I listened to these talks and then briefly shook hands with Elder Cook at the end of the night last night, I was reminded once again that we are indeed led by Prophets and Apostles who hold the keys of presidency in all the world, and who seek to emulate our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in word and deed.  It was a wonderful and testimony fortifying experience.

Brett

The Power of the Word

This afternoon I am writing with a splitting headache, and so my thoughts are somewhat scattered and limited.  But I wanted to write a few small thoughts that I've been considering this past week, and hope that they will be of some sort of value.

Recently I have been reflecting upon the blessing that it is to have the scriptures and the words of God.  This will come as no surprise to those of you who know me best, but I find a great amount of joy in books--perhaps too much joy in them.  But even as a devoted book lover, I find myself overwhelmed at times by what one of my professors termed the "Bataan Death March" of books and book reviews that graduate school can become.  So much so, that I occasionally have a hard time even looking at a book for a few weeks after each semester, with one exception:  the scriptures.

It seems odd, but I often find that my greatest and most relieving escape from graduate school and its relentless schedule of reading and study is found within the pages and words of the Holy Scriptures.  At least one of the reasons that I find so much joy within their pages is because the scriptures seem more like old familiar friends to be reunited with than texts to be studied and dissected at high speeds.  More and more, I find myself understanding President Hinckley's eloquent words, when he said: "I love our scriptures.  I love these wonderful volumes, which set forth the word of the Lord for the guidance of our Father's sons and daughters.  I love to read the scriptures, and I try to do so consistently and repeatedly.  I love to quote from them, for they give the voice of authority to that which I say.  I do not claim distinction as a scholar of the scriptures.  For me, the reading of the scriptures is not the pursuit of scholarship.  Rather, it is a love affair with the word of the Lord and that of his prophets."

Within the scriptures, I find hope, encouragement, and inspiration that I do not find in any of the other books within my growing collection.  I'm grateful for the wonderful gift of the scriptures.

Brett

Things to Act

Well, ready or not, my new semester is now in full gear, with the second week of classes come and gone.  It is one of the most bizarre and multicultural semesters of my life.  I have seminars on the American Civil War, Modern Chinese History, and Afro-Latin American History, none of which seem to overlap in the least degree.  And since they are all readings seminars, it appears that my semester will be comprised of somewhere around 900 to 1000 pages of reading per week, with 6-9 pages of writing to accompany 9 hours worth of class time in which to be grilled over the content, meaning, and inherent flaws within those 900 pages.  At moments like this, it's hard not to take a step back and ask myself "What were you thinking?"  Following such moments of introspection, I can't help but remember the line spoken by the snake in an oft told story, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

But I'm learning that these moments of introspection can take two very different paths.  I can choose (as I often do) to lock up and give way to complete discouragement about the week at hand (and if it is a really bad day, about the whole semester), or I can choose to turn the page and keep reading.

All of this brings me to Lehi, and one of my favorite scriptures, which is found in Second Nephi.  Speaking to his young son Jacob about the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement (what Elder Bruce R. McConkie dubbed "The Three Pillars of Eternity"), Lehi said, "And now, my sons, I speak unto you these things for your profit and learning, for there is a God, and he hath created all things, both the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are, both things to act and things to be acted upon" (2 Nephi 2:14).  He then went on to explain that "the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself" (2 Nephi 2:16), a condition made possible by the Savior's atonement (see 2 Nephi 2:26).

I think that all of us will agree that life holds more than its fair share of unfair moments, difficult challenges that are part of our mortal experience and which are beyond our control.  Classes require too much reading; work requires too many long hours and is handicapped by too many politics; we are asked to experience the challenges posed by sickness, fatigue, and occasionally even death; and through it all we are asked to put a smile on our face when we don't feel like smiling, to love, and serve, and uplift others who are experiencing challenges even more painful than we are experiencing.

In the process, I think that all of us reach points where we just want to throw our hands up into the air and surrender to the challenges that are perplexing us.  In such moments, I believe that we can take comfort in two eternal facts.  First, as sons and daughters of God, we have been endowed with the power to act.  Because of that relationship and that divine gift within us, we maintain the ultimate sovereignty over our attitudes and feelings, even though everything else in our lives seems to be beyond our control.  Second, I believe that in the end we will discover that it was these moments that ultimately defined our lives because they compelled us to seek for God's help. 

In July 1865, shortly after the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, Noah Brooks recalled an experience in which Lincoln told him the following: "I have been driven many times upon my knees by the overwhelming conviction that I had nowhere else to go.  My own wisdom and that of all about me seemed insufficient for that day." (Don E. Fehrenbacher and Virginia Fehrenbacher, Recollected Words of Abraham Lincoln, 50).  While this statement may be apocryphal, the sentiment expressed by it is everlastingly true.  The Lord gives us challenging experiences and difficult circumstances to deal with, at least in part, because they serve to draw us to Him and help us to use this divine gift of agency to seek out His help, thus cementing our relationship to Him.

Brett

"To Fulfill All Righteousness"

This past week, I have been studying in 2 Nephi 31, the moving commencement of Nephi's valedictory sermon.  Once again, I was drawn to verses 4 through 7, verses which I have known and loved since before I was a missionary.  But this week I saw them a little differently and perhaps more profoundly than I had ever seen them before.

As you'll recall, Nephi calls upon us to "remember that I have spoken unto you concerning that prophet which the Lord showed unto me, that should baptize the Lamb of God, which should take away the sins of the world."  Nephi then introduces us to what might be called "the paradox of Christ's baptism," stating, "And now, if the Lamb of God, he being holy, should have need to be baptized by water, to fulfil all righteousness, O then, how much more need have we, being unholy, to be baptized, yea, even by water!  And now I would ask of you, my beloved brethren, wherein the Lamb of God did fulfil all righteousness in being baptized by water?  Know ye not that he was holy?  But notwithstanding he being holy, he showeth unto the children of men that, according to the flesh he humbleth himself before the Father, and witnesseth unto the Father that he would be obedient unto him in keeping his commandments" (2 Nephi 31:4-7).

Clearly Nephi had done some thinking about the symbolism and meaning of baptism, the perfection of the Savior, and the interesting need for the Savior to be baptized.  As Primary children, we learn that baptism is an ordinance instituted for the remission of sins and that by receiving this ordinance, we enter into a covenant with God to take the Savior's name upon us, striving to keep His commandments and live as He lived, in exchange for which we are promised that we may "have his Spirit to be with [us]" (D&C 20:79), and ultimately "be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that [we] may have eternal life" (Mosiah 18:9).  Further, we are taught that Baptism is a symbolic representation of both the Savior's death, burial, and resurrection, as well as the death of the carnal and natural man within us, "that the body of sin might be destroyed, and that henceforth we should not serve sin" (Romans 6:6) and our subsequent spiritual rebirth to a higher and more spiritual life.

But considering all of this carefully, we like Nephi are led to ask why the Savior, of all people would need to be baptized.  He lived a perfect life, and needed to enter into no covenants whereby another would promise to pay the price of His sins that He might receive eternal life.  Further, it was His very blood, His very suffering, His very death, His very burial, and His very Resurrection that this ordinance was symbolizing.  Now certainly this act prefigured and prophesied of His coming Atonement, but none of that answers why He needed to be baptized.  

So here is where Nephi helps us along the path to understanding.  Nephi explains that the Savior did so to show "unto the children of men, that according to the flesh he humbleth himself before the Father, and witnesseth unto the Father that he would be obedient unto him in keeping his commandments."  This simple, and even illogical act, was an act of submission to the will of the Father.  But it was not blind faith nor blind obedience any more than were the sacrifices offered by Adam and Eve, for which explanation Adam said simply "I know not, save the Lord commanded me" (Moses 5:6).  Adam, Eve, and the Savior all had at least one great thing in common:  they knew the Man who had given them the commandments they were asked to obey.  While the Savior undoubtedly had more understanding of what He was doing than Adam and Eve, His submission to the commandment to be baptized was not based upon an understanding of the logical reasoning that underlaid the commandment.  His submission was firmly grounded in His love for, and perfect understanding of, the Father.  He knew that the Father would never ask Him to do anything contrary to the plan of happiness and righteousness.  Therefore, even when the commandment seemed to defy logic, He could obey, because He knew the character of Him who had issued it.

But I came to another realization about this interesting act.  As I considered how illogical it all seemed to me, I realized that in this humble act of submission, the Savior was prefiguring in attitude, as well as in symbol,  what He would do some three years later.  In the thinking of our "me first" world, there is nothing logical about the Savior's willingness to "[descend] below all things"(D&C 88:6) and "to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit" (D&C 19:18) all that we who have "sinned, and come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) might not be lost.  But love and mercy defy the logic of self-preservation and personal comfort.  By being baptized when He was without sin, the Savior was reminding all of us that in His infinite love, He would do all within His power, even defying logic and reason, to reach out to us and to return us to His Father's fold.  Because He loved us, He was and is willing to sacrifice personal comfort and ease to rescue us in our times of trouble and need.

Considering that kind of love and His perfect example, I indeed "stand all amazed" and "bow in humble adoration" of Him who did "fulfil all righteousness."

Brett

The Tricky Past

Hey all.  I owe you an apology.  I went on a long hiatus over Christmas break and haven't really touched my blog since December.  I'm sorry for anyone who went there looking for posts.  Anyhow, a lot has happened since I last wrote.  I had a wonderful Christmas with my family and was reminded just how amazing they really are.  There is nothing quite like coming home.  I don't enjoy leaving home and fighting through loneliness and homesickness, but there is always something so refreshing about coming home.  At least for me, I have a feeling that it is just that kind of reception that is awaiting us in our Father's Kingdom.

Now for the news that most--if not all--of you know about.  Over the break, I started dating the stunningly beautiful Julianne Gough and was privileged to spend a lot of time with her during the past month.  For those of you who don't know Julianne, she is simply amazing.  She's brilliant, beautiful, spiritual, and incredibly kind and caring.  She teaches Art History at LDS Business College and is constantly teaching me things that I didn't have the slightest clue about, not just in terms of art, but life and the gospel.  Simply put:  I love being with her.

On one of my dates with Julianne, she introduced me to a wonderful movie that has given me pause and made me do quite a bit of thinking over the last couple of weeks.  I'm not normally a fan of Woody Allen movies, but if you haven't seen Midnight in Paris, you should.  I don't want to give too much of the movie away, so here is a short and poorly worded synopsis.  It is about a movie writer named Gil Pender, who visits Paris with his fiance while he is in the process of writing a novel.  As a writer, Gil fantasizes about how good it would have been to be an author in Paris during the 1920s when notable writers like Ernest Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald (America's Lost Generation) were there writing their masterpieces.  At midnight in Paris, he is actually taken back to the 1920s where he meets several of these characters and interacts with them.

At first, Gil finds the experience scintillating and amazing, and even far superior to the world he is living in in 2010.  But at the end of the movie he comes to a realization that I think is quite valuable.  Gil realizes that as useful as it can be to visit the past, it is problematic to live there, because our views of the past are often based upon a fantasy that ignores certain aspects of reality.  As annoying and even troubling as we often find the present to be, it is the only real time that God has given us to live in and we must make the most of it.

The Book of Mormon contains a classic example of how we sometimes view history, written in the words of the Prophet Nephi, son of Helaman.  Living in one of the most troubling periods of Nephite history, Nephi bemoaned, "Oh, that I could have had my days in the days when my father Nephi first came out of the land of Jerusalem, that I could have joyed with him in the promised land; then were his people easy to be entreated, firm to keep the commandments of God, and slow to be led to do iniquity; and they were quick to hearken unto the words of the Lord--Yea, if my days could have been in those days, then would my soul have had joy in the righteousness of my brethren." (Helaman 7:7-8)

I've read those words over the years and wondered what Nephi's great ancestor Nephi, the son of Lehi, would have thought about them.  Perhaps I am wrong, but I have often felt that the original Nephi (at least the first person we know about named Nephi) would have assured his noble descendent that the past was not quite as good as he had made it out to be.  True, Nephi's society wasn't overrun by secret combinations and high level corruption, but Nephi had plenty of his own struggles to deal with: living in a desert, starving in the wilderness, deadly storms on the ocean, and his own brothers trying to kill him on numerous occasions.  True, Nephi later wrote that his people "lived after the manner of happiness" (2 Nephi 5:27), but Nephi's life had been anything but easy, a fact that his descendent would quickly have discovered had he been granted his wish to live in the days of Nephi, son of Lehi.

Yet here, in the midst of enjoying a glorified and sanitized view of the past, Nephi, son of Helaman, came to a realization that we must all come to sooner or later.  He wrote, "But behold, I am consigned that these are my days" (Helaman 7:9).  He realized that even if he did not necessarily enjoy every aspect of his own lifetime and the things that he was asked to endure, that was the period and those were the challenges (and blessings) that God had allotted unto him, and he must accept them.

As a historian, it is easy for me to live in the past.  At times I find myself struggling to remember that the current year is 2012, not 18--, when I am writing out checks.  Perhaps just as detrimental as living in a sanitized and unrealistic past, is an understanding of the pains of the past and an erroneous belief that they cannot be changed.  I have often found it difficult to let go of past events, past hurts, and past ways of thinking, even when I know in my heart and mind that the present is or at least can be so very different if I make it so.  The entire Gospel is a message about the possibility of change and the reality of newness and redemption.  We can and must learn from the past because the experiences and insights of ourselves and others can be valuable to us.  But even as we make occasional excursions to the past, we must be careful not to keep living there.  While the Atonement will heal us and help us learn from the experiences of the past, it can only be applied in the present, creating in turn a brighter and more beautiful future.

Brett